Life and trauma

@Former-Member

Are you ok?

Are you in hospital?

Havent heard from you in a couple of days so I thought I would check in…

@Oaktree I'm far from ok. No I'm not in hospital at this stage.

@Former-Member

Sorry to hear that you are still struggling.

Do you have any plans for the coming week?

@MJG017

@Oaktree i don't have any plans. Hard to make plans when you don't know what's going to happen from one day to the next.

Thanks for checking in though. I've just been trying to distance myself from everyone so that I can't hurt or disappoint anyone.

@Former-Member

I do understand the no plans thing. It’s hard to make plans when you are not sure that you have a future. I have been a bit worried about your silence. Please don’t push us away.

@Oaktree that's exactly why I don't make plans cos at the moment I don't see a future. When I go quiet that's when things are the worst cos that's me shutting down, that's me just wanting to fall off the face of the earth and hope that everyone forgets that I ever existed.

@Former-Member

I probably told you this already.

Once I was doing an inpatient program and I walked out of a group on goal setting. That was because I couldn’t set a goal because I couldn’t see a future for myself. Things have changed since then but it took a long time to move past that.

@Oaktree you've never told me that. But I'm so glad that things did change for you. Whilst part of me wants to believe that it's somehow possible for things to be different, right now I just can't see it. It's really scary cos this is the exact frame of mind i was in when I made my previous attempts. My doctors appointment tomorrow really can't come soon enough.

@Former-Member

I would say that you should be completely open with the doctor about how much you have been struggling lately. Be really honest. If you don’t share they can’t help you

@Oaktree i will try to be. But I'm also very good at freezing in the moment.