Life and trauma

@Ru-bee it's been a really rough week and it's still not stopping. I'm struggling to just keep my head above water. I'm in tears and just feel like I'm losing myself.

Yeah, you've been through a lot this week @Former-Member I'm sending you big hugs right now

When you say you're losing yourself, can you tell me a bit more what that looks like or feels like for you?

Thanks @Ru-bee. ❤️

The fear of losing control and acting on my thoughts unintentionally, I know how easy it is for me to be in that situation and not know what's happened until it's too late. Don't worry I've done my best to make my immediate area safe. But I can feel things building up inside of me and i don't have a safe way of letting things out to even release just a little bit of that pressure.

Firstly, good on you for taking those steps to keep your space as safe as you can right now @Former-Member

So it sounds like having more control over your thoughts and actions would make you feel more like yourself right now, which makes it even better that you've shown some control over things already by making your space safe. Are there any other small steps that are within your control that could help you feel like you're in the driver's seat right now?

@Ru-bee I'm trying to stay safe even though I don't know what for and that in itself is tough.

I'm not sure what else I can do. I've been doing my colouring, trying to watch my show. I just can't keep my focus on anything for more than a couple of minutes. I'm so exhausted but I can't rest, I can't even allow myself to let my guard down cos it scares me what could happen. I've reached out to chat to crisis services but it's not helping 😞.

I'm hearing how hard it is to manage these thoughts and feelings right now @Former-Member and it must be so disheartening to feel like your efforts aren't helping, but what I'm also hearing is that you are staying safe even if it's just for the moment and that's no small thing

@Ru-bee are you still around?

Yeah I'm still here with you @Former-Member

@Ru-bee i was doing ok for a little bit. But now it's all coming crashing down and i was just hurt again so I'm trying so hard to hold myself together.

You have been doing so good today @Former-Member Do you need any extra support right now, or to talk to a phone support?