Life and trauma

@RiverSeal i started this yesterday and I'm trying to do more.

That's amazing!! My friend loves Winnie the Pooh @Former-Member. I love the different shades of colours ❤️ RiverSeal

Thanks @RiverSeal ❤️

@RiverSeal not even the crisis lines are helping today 😞. I don't like this situation, it's all to similar to last weekend.

What do you think that you can do that will lead to a different outcome than last week @Former-Member? How do you feel about staying recovery focused with your thoughts and doing things that will pass the time like colouring in? RiverSeal

@RiverSeal I'm trying. I'm doing my colouring, it's just everything in my head is so loud. I've got music playing to try and drown out the thoughts. I'm just taking things minute by minute.

@Former-Member

I understand, it's been a really difficult week for you. If it helps, I see that hope for you that things can get better. I'm don't just say that as just 'helpful words' to say, but by thinking back to when you first joined and all the chats we've had. I look back and i do see improvements. I know it's still an incredible struggle for you, but considering everything you've endured in your life, it is going to take time. Which sucks, but that's why we'll do what we can to help you get there. Or should i say, to continue on your path to getting there. So i will hold that hope for you right now while your take a bit of time for yourself. But that hope is always right there for you take take hold of when you're ready.

I've lost count of the times i've gotten my days mixed up. When you don't work, one day is the same as every other. So it's easy to lose track. If my partner is still home when I get up, then i just assume it's the weekend. Public holidays and days shes has off really messes with my already shaky internal calendar.

Don't listen to your brain, you're definitely not bothering anyone. If you were, it's a website where we're all anonymous... people could just stop replying if you were bothering them. There's only one reason anyone would reply, because they want to. So don't listen to those thoughts of being a bother. I do get it though, i struggle with it as well. As for there being something wrong with you. There's not! There's plenty wrong with what has happened to you, wrong with the way people you should have trusted have treated you. So there's nothing wrong with you as a person, just what has happened to you. None of which is your fault. Show me one person who has gone through anything even similar who isn't just as traumatised!

Keep doing what you can do drown out those thoughts and know there's people her with you. Minute by minute, remember. Small step by small step. Nothing else is important right now other than you. Push everything else to the side like walking through a big long wardrobe pushing hanging clothes aside as you make your way through. Just like getting to Narnia 🙂

On to happier things... I love that new Winnie the Pooh and the 'stained glass' style of it. The subtle change in shades looks amazing. I can't wait to see it when it's finished.

@MJG017 as always you know what to say and how to explain things. Thankyou once again and for holding that hope for me ❤️.

I'm usually ok with knowing what day it is but lately it's just all messed up.

Yeah I know I've been through alot and I try to see it as not something wrong with me, it's just hard when bad things just keep happening.

My music is cranking and I even find myself grooving it, there's certain songs that I just can't sit still to.

Thanks, It's the first time I've done one of the stained glass pictures and I'm liking it so far.

@MJG017 @RiverSeal i did something constructive, I made bolognase for dinner 😊

That's amazing!! I wish I had that for dinner 🤤 Well done @Former-Member. RiverSeal