Life and trauma

@Former-Member

Well i hope they're gone and you're safe now. That would make anyone feel shaken!

As a distraction, do you have your Lego handy? Maybe just get it out and start building!..

@MJG017 they have gone now but feeling safe isn't happening right now. Every noise is making me jumpy.

My Lego isn't accessible at the moment, it's mostly sorted into sets and stored away where I can't get to. I really need to get my house into order cos it's massively affecting me. I just have too much stuff and it's become so overwhelming.

@Former-Member

I've always been a bit of a hoarder. I use to carefully remove the bubblewrap from packages i received, neatly rolled it up and stored it. I had a bit of a cleanout last year and then about couple of months ago i needed some when i had to post some 3D prints to someone! Luckily i had just bought something that i still had the box and bubblewrap from so it was just enough... but lesson learnt. I figure its better to have too much stuff that not enough stuff. As long as you can see most of the floor! 😁

@MJG017 it's just that I have no organisation for the stuff I have, like there's craft stuff scattered throughout a million boxes and containers. It's just chaos and I need it to be organised chaos 😂.

I keep way too much random stuff that I'll honestly never use but then I become sentimental to things and can't part with them.

Problem is I can't tackle my house alone cos it gets me depressed and then things get bad.

@Former-Member

I completely get then sentimentality thing. Its a big reason i keep a lot of stuff. There's very little of anything left from my childhood. My parents never kept anything and there were never many photos. The few that there were are lost to time.

So because theres almost nothing from my past, i guess i stubbornly keep anything i have. Memories are one thing, but tangible items are far more powerful than memories alone. Its like physical proof i was here, that i existed. Even bigfoot has some fuzzy photos and grainy indestinct videos! 😁

@MJG017 and as usual they just abandon me when i need them the most. Why do I bother 😞

@Former-Member

Im sorry they werent helpful when you reached out to them. I sometimes feel that our mental struggles are ours to deal with alone. Support can be there, but we have to fight the bulk of it alone. That's been my experience anyway. Its why i really value any support now, because i remember what having none felt like.

@MJG017 but what do you do when you don't have the strength to fight alone. I need to sleep before something happens but I've taken 4 of my tablets like 2 hours ago and it hasn't done anything. I can't do this anymore, that temptation and urge is too strong.

I feel so broken and useless right now, this is the backlash of being honest, you feel like such a failure for not having achieved everything the naive male said... the job... the house... the family... the husband...