Life and trauma

@Oaktree that sounds like so much fun. I've never tried graphic markers.

@Former-Member

I love my graphic markers! I got them from officeworks. I actually have my daughter’s set here at the moment. She has the larger set of 108 markers. They have a thick end and a thin end. They are great but they do bleed through. You have to make sure you put a couple of pieces of paper behind your work

@Oaktree i might have to look into getting some, i see them in aldi sometimes and I've always been tempted to get some.

@Former-Member totally reasonable fear hun, and sounds like even though you did share the concern, it sorta seemed lighter or not that scary with the doctor... but now later on, it's perhaps feeling all too real!!

So yeah like I mentioned we can always take very physical actions to sorta, send the message to our brain that we don't want to repeat those old behaviours. I think as a longer-term thought, chemists will do like a gradual dispensing of meds, i.e. instead of getting all 50 or whatever in one go, you only get enough for like, the week or something. You could always ask em?

As for tonight, do you have plenty of distractions, and do you have someone you can call if things get hairy?

@Jynx it's frustrating cos part of me doesn't want to go back down that path but then there's another part that wants to so badly. Even when I was talking to my doctor about it my mind was racing on the what if's, what would happen if I took too much, how much would I need to take to cause harm etc. Horrible thoughts to sit with.

It's a struggle for me to go back and forth to the chemist as I have severe anxiety and going out is a big issue.

I have been trying to distract myself but the box of tablets is right in front of me and I almost feel like it's calling me and yeah I know that sounds crazy. I've got my phone ready to call 000 just in case.

@Former-Member aye, it's a heavy burden to have such thoughts hey. Pls remember, you are NOT the same person you were the last time you were struggling with meds in this way. Nothing is set in stone, or inevitable, no matter how much our brains might feel it is. Pop them away if you can? Be easier without the visual reminder I reckon!!

I'm glad you've got the phone there to call. Do you get much out of talking to crisis lines? That might help - even if all it does is get you one step closer to bedtime and no more temptation. Lifeline is one but you can also try SCBS.

I gotta skedaddle hun, please be gentle with yourself!! Keep on connecting here if you find it helps, and hopefully I will catch you tomorrow if you are up for more chats! Huuuuugs 🫂😊

@Jynx is definitely hard. I've just taken one of them so I guess we will see how it goes. I reached out to both of those services and explained the situation and they both agreed that I was doing the right thing in being prepared to ring just in case.

Hope you have a good night. I'm always up for chatting. Thankyou ❤️

@Former-Member

Hey. I hope you don't answer this until tomorrow as that maybe means the tablet worked and you got a good night sleep finally. I really hope this works for you and if it works with the anxiety as well, then not waking up with a panic attack would be a huge bonus.

I know this weekend was an extremely hard fight for you, but you got through and i'm proud of you for doing so and you should be proud of yourself as well. Good luck. 😴💤

@MJG017 I'm still awake unfortunately. I'm hoping it works but I don't know.

Thankyou it means alot. I just want things to get easier. Hope you have a good night. 🙂

@Former-Member

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you. 🤞