Life and trauma

Night @Former-Member

You wouldnt be bothering anyone. If it keeps you safe then that is what is important and is what everyone wants to happen. Hopefully it doesnt come to that, but if you feel it is, then please dont let thoughts of bothering anyone stop you. I promise you, you are not, and will not bother anyone in the slightest if that is what you need to do.

@MJG017 thankyou. I'm just really trying to cope alone without having to be a burden on our already struggling system. Guess we will just have to see what happens.

@Former-Member

I know you're trying so hard and have done so well, but please always remember its never a burden when you need support. Never!

I'll chat to you later.

@MJG017 I'm just not strong enough for this fight anymore.

@Former-Member

Its okay to feel this way, its exhausting and its such a lot to deal with. But its so important in times like this to remember that you're no alone in this fight, there are people who want to help. So when you feel like you dont have the strength, lean on others for theirs. I totally get what a lonely and isolated place it must feel like right now but theres nothing wrong with admitting you need that help. I know i still really struggle with it as it seems like such a weakness and a failure but that thinking has only made things so much harder that it needs to be.

Ive said it before, but these fights are hard enough to get through without making them worse by beating ourselves up on top of everything else. Ive seen how much you have to offer people and how much strength you have that can be so helpful to other people. We just need to help you through this at the moment though and we'll help you as much as we can.

@Former-Member I'm proud of you for doing what you had to do last night to make it though to today.

It's funny how you mentioned how supporting others right now is how you've found to help take your thoughts away from your own problems. When I joined here in May last year, I never ended up posting about myself, even though I was in the middle of the most difficult time of my life. I read a post that i really identified with and made a comment and found out that someone found it helpful. From there I just kept doing it and this really did allow me to refocus my thoughts off of my own problems and I found it far more helpful than anything else I had tried up to that point.

And i'm still here writing little comments that I hope people find helpful. Yes, I know 'little' could probably be substituted with 'long and meandering'. 😁

We chatted yesterday about focusing on getting through Saturday before worrying about getting through Sunday and then Monday until your appointment. No matter what, you did make t through Saturday so take it as a win. I'm sorry that it wasn't completely unscathed but you made it! And i'm so happy that you did.

So if it works for you, like it did for me, keep reaching out to others on the forum. As I said earlier, i think you have so much you can offer to people who are fighting their own battles.

@MJG017 it's funny how helping others is a great distraction from your own problems. I just know that I can't fix mine but I can help others to hopefully get support to fix theirs.

You and your 'little' messages that very often strain my brain but actually in a good way sometimes cos it makes me focus and pay attention to detail. I'm glad you are still here and still supporting others including me. Honestly the amount of times you have kept me going by just chatting to me has meant everything to me.

I'm just trying to get through today. I need to go to the shops but I'm not sure if i have it in me. I'm currently freaking out trying to get myself ready.

@Former-MemberI had just started typing up some more long and meandering comments when i realised the time was 4.30, so i had to rush down the shops myself. Who would have thought i would be so bust 20 minutes before closing time. I mean why do all these people leave it to the last minute?! And yes, i see the irony in being one of them 😁

Did you manage to get to the shops yourself? I usually like to go late during the week, because it's usually quieter. I much prefer it with less people, because that's always better in any scenario and i don't have to wait for ages at the so called 'express' line where half the people in it seem to have to repeatedly explain to the cashier the exact and specific type of cigarettes they would like to have shorten their existence.

You are more than welcome for the chats. I love to say it's because i'm such a delightful human being, but really, you can only chat to cats for so long before they either just walk away or fall asleep. It's very hard on the self esteem. I swear they just pretend to fall asleep until i give up and go do something else. 🤣

@MJG017 time seems to have gone fast today, at least for me anyway. I did go to the shops but had a panic attack while I was there, it's taken everything out of me.

It's always nice to go when it's quieter and there's a reason i don't go through the expess cos i hate waiting for people to buy their cigarettes, yuck honestly.

Well i think you are amazing to chat to so ignore those cats and their ignorant behaviour 🤣.

Things are starting to hit hard again and the thoughts have started to get more intense. I've just started to colour in for the first time today so I'm hoping i can keep myself distracted for a bit.

I have just eaten a blackberry and a strawberry so I'm hoping to keep them down if I can.