Is ok to be angry at how I feel

I perhaps did not explain myself well. It is the 'expression' of anger as an emotion I am talking about. Validation of yeah is ok to be angry. I hear you. I will feel it , let it out (taking into account not to accuse,blame or hurl abuse) . I went to a camp for people who hear voices. It was one week. People expressed dissappointment, resentment and anger about how they were treated by medical staff and the mental health services in general. I do not think it incited more anger. Simply a forum to say ...yeah I am peed off, yeah this is how I feel I am treated and on it goes... I agree that there are reasons for being angry and can cause physical pain. I like to think 'expression' of that anger (safely) can be a way to let go. Anger is a topic in itself. It may bring images of harm, aggression, hurting others and hurting oneself. It may be confrontational. The media eg.films, music and news stories project this I think. I see it as release and being heard. I hope I am making sense.

hi @Former-Member I like your humour wrapped in at the end of your original post. lol

Anger is so tricky and safe venting not easy ....

Some people have easy access to it and others not ...

In the 70s & 80s expression of anger seemed to be a more popular subject in therapuetic circles .. I'm an old duck .. there were bean bags .. mattresses... cushions .. padded rooms ... even a baseball bat provided .. in my "therapy." There was more opportunity to physicalise it .. legitmately ..Not sure that I was a fast learner but eventually I did get in touch with my anger and it gave me a lot of energy to get on with things.

I have never wanted to hurt anyone either.

It will always be an important topic .. not just in MH circles .. cos we are ALL human.

I also have brought up the issue in my early posts on the forum .. yes it is ok to be angry at how you feel .. but it can also increase your torment and frustration with yourself ... try and be creative about how YOU manage your anger ... throwing humour into the mix .. is a great idea ..

Hi @Former-Member

I have struggled with anger and bitterness in the past, and the two often go hand-in-hand. It was to do with feeling stuck in a situation where I was being manipulated and suffering emotional abuse. I sought help from a counsellor, and a friend helped by role-playing my anger for me.

Clearing that blockage enabled me to think more clearly and strategically about how to resolve the issues that were causing the anger.

After that I learned to vent my anger much more in the moment, and take some sort of action over what (who?) has made me angry .... and much of that comes through "I statements" ....

I am angry because _____ and it makes me feel ______! and I want that rectified by ______.

cool @Appleblossom for your reply. True that....safe venting is tricky.

I may say to you....apple? hehe my chaotic mind is annoying me today. It took me 30 mins to do the dam dishes. Frigg!!! You may say...turtle? slow breathing, ground with a affirmation or ground in the present and the feeling may past. (is just my assumption of what you may say)

It is just that moment of ' yep I am ticked off' ....feel it and move along.

I probably am not making sense and it sounds picky I know lol

hi @Faith-and-Hope cool response

Yes 'I' statements are powerful. Ownership is a positive strategy for expression.

Very cool to hear the work you have done.

I have a pyschologist and go to a support group for voice hearers (is that a word?)

I apologise in advance if I am not recognising that there are unresolved issues attached to the expression of anger. I know there are issues.

I am seeing the 'moment' of frustration, confusion, being annonyed, maybe powerlessness as a 'feeling' to say ....yep this is how I am feeling, feel it...work with it and self-help to move along.

Sounds good to me @Former-Member .... ❣

Just as an aside here .... when my kids were growing up, as an alternative to making a sandcastle at the beach we made a sand turtle .... 😊🐢

Hi @Former-Member,

I agree with what @Faith-and-Hope has said:

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After that I learned to vent my anger much more in the moment, and take some sort of action over what (who?) has made me angry .... and much of that comes through "I statements" ....

I am angry because _____ and it makes me feel ______! and I want that rectified by ______.

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This has been so true in my case. I had to take action over my anger... I had to rectify the injustice that caused me to become angry.

A counsellor of mine expalined it like this;

'Emotion' is E + motion. E= energy. So therefore emotion is energy in motion.

If you get can in contact with your anger and work out why you feel angry, then you can take action to change something in your life to allow the anger to no longer be needed.

@Former-Member I might say those things about breathing to myself to calm me down .. so I do know how you feel .. I was slower getting up than doing the dishes today lol .. but I dont usually tell others what to do.

I find it weird when others use a "you" statement to me, It did not ring true for me, because I am a complicated bunny, lots of layers, and people find it hard to work me out, but it gives me an idea how others perceive me.

Eg re guy who had gestalt therapy training certificate from Switzerland on his wall and the bean bag & baseball bat. He thought I needed to express my anger that way, but at the time I didnt know I had any anger let alone felt it appropriate to express it that way. He also was acting with a sense of authority that I had not invested him with. At the time he just seemed a weird bald goofy older man that was reccomended by the TM people I knew... a bit creepy really .. I am grimacing when I think of it (I was too well brought up to think that kind of a thought at the time??) I placated him with a few whacks but could not put my heart & soul into it. I only saw him a couple of times. All I got out of the sessions was that I was on the right track to continue with my own studies at uni.

Mostly I have tried to please others, but lately I am thinking more about what pleases me..

I know I do have anger about various things in my life. It surfaced in its own good time. A baseball bat was never the way to go for me .. it would have been better if we had depthed and I connected to the importance of my father's last gift to me .. which was a softball bat... and my sporty side etc .. but I did that 20 years later. He was a therapist high on his own ideas .. telling me to do something I wasnt comfortable with .. and charging more than I could justify for what I WAS GETTING.

I have suffered a lot from others' unrecognised anger, self entitled grown up teacher temper tantrums, pettiness, nastiness, exclusion & rejection. If they were to include me they would have to reassess some of their cherished beliefs about themselves and they were not prepared to do that.

I prefer it when people are honest about their anger .. but cos of physical disability cant hang around if they vent a lot in my presence.

cheers