Getting very, very concerned

Hey @Jlol I'm going to shoot you through an email if you could keep an eye out. I'm hearing things are feeling pretty scary right now, I'm glad that you are reaching out

@Jlol I'm sorry to hear about your situation, having been in and out of mental health myself. I feel that being out, even if just in the community and around people—directly or indirectly—can help some of the time, depending on your struggles. Everyone’s experience is different, but I definitely encourage you to get out when you can or find moments to be around others, as it can sometimes offer a sense of relief or connection.

Sounds great. The problem is I'm at work and can't leave

Hi @Ru-bee

I got your email but am unable to reply via email (again, work).

But to answer your questions:

• What sort of support do I need? A significant time off work. Desperately. I don't have any holiday or sick leave left and can't afford to work less, but am so distraught right now I can't work and look after myself.
• More about hospitals in QLD: Unless you're at immediate risk to your own life they will turn you away for any MH stuff. If they decide you are at risk, they will lock you in a ward for 12 - 24 hrs (most likely sleeping on the floor as there are too few beds) then send you on your way when you promise to see a private-practice shrink. Last time I attempted to go to hospital I waited in the emergence triage area for about 7.5hrs before a nurse was able to talk to me. She was unable to find an empty consultation room, so we had our consult literally in the car park, where she told me, again, to go an find a private practitioner.
• Don't have any other supports in place.

I know you don't want to hear about the hospital thing because you think it might dissuade people from getting help, but what I've said it true.

Hey @Jlol that's okay, thanks for getting back to me the way that you're able

So it sounds like the little energy you do have right now is going towards work and there's not enough left in the stores to take care of yourself the way you're needing at the end of the work day? Does your work do any wellbeing leave at all? Or does it offer EAP support as a way to seek some free confidential support?

If taking time off right now really isn't an option I'm wondering if there are other ways to try to support your energy outside of work. Have you been to your GP recently? Often when we're struggling it's good to try to look at things holistically as our energy and moods can also be impacted by our physical health. Sure it might not solve the issue of needing to work, but it might make things that little bit better

hey @Jlol i can hear how overwhelming this is for you, and i'm really sorry to that your experiences with hospitals haven't been great. you mentioned that you can't take leave from work so i just had a couple questions to ask:
what do you do for work? and how many hours do you work? what do you usually do when you're not working?
totally okay if you don't want to answer any of these, i'm just curious to know how a typical day looks like to you and what sort of interests you have.

Thanks for the reply @Ru-bee

Yes I think you are correct in that I need time and energy to look after myself right now but can't because of work.

My work does have an EAP. I talked to therapists from their twice this year and both said my problems were too intense/serious for what the EAP offers.

I've been to my GP heaps. Done heaps of blood tests and the like. Even had a sleep test done to check for apneas. Its all fine. The problem he has diagnosed is extreme stress. Which just leads back to point one again.

Thanks @rav3n

To answer your questions:

• I work in IT
• I do probably 8:00 to 5:30. I work extra because of all the time I take off due to medical stuff. But add commutes to that and its 7 - 6:30. Working from home is not an option.
• What I do when I'm not working? Nothing. I'm too drained. I used to do a lot more, but have nothing left in the tank anymore. When I get home I spend about an hour recovering just sitting down. Then I cooke dinner, eat, dishes, and bed. I used to try and do hobbies but just can't anymore. I'm a zombie - completely stressed out, drained, and unable to string 2 thoughts together.

Is this extreme stress related to/caused by work @Jlol? Could stress leave be a potential option?

thanks for sharing those responses with me @Jlol i can see that work takes up pretty much half your day, makes sense why you'd be tired! but at the same time, balance is super important. and the fact that you feel so extremely drained constantly is a big sign that some changes to your work-life balance may be needed.

do you enjoy working in IT? do you find the work hard? i know that in some of my previous roles, it wasn't the work itself that drained me but my manager, is that the same for you? and you mentioned your doing extra hours to make up for your time off, how much longer do you have to do these extra hours for? seems quite intense!

do you work on weekends too? sometimes having something to 'look forward to' at the end of the week help, and it doesn't have to be anything big. maybe its just a movie night at home or treat yourself to a fancy dinner or catch the sunset at a beach/look out spot. are there any interests/hobbies you've had in the past?