How to socialise and interact

Being in the midst of a break-up is a really difficult time to put yourself out there @Kares102

It is really admirable that you are wanting to make these efforts right now, and I understand that it is stemming from this strong desire for connection and closeness, but I think that it's important to allow yourself some grace right now, and to remember that experiences like this one aren't permanent.

I know it can be hard to see your way out of it at the moment, we're here to help support you through.

Hi @Kares102

Sorry you are going through this, I can relate to what you are saying. I went through a separation 2 years ago we were together for 23 years, still feels like it happened a few weeks ago, I was in bad shape at one stage, suffered social isolation, panic attacks, stress, and anxiety and eventually led to depression, it was hard to break through but being around supportive family and friends is very important.

I was lonely most of the time stuck at home, constant thinking did not help either once I knew my thoughts had taken over me, I recognised this and put a stop to it, I didn't allow it to do that to me anymore.

It was hard but I forced myself to engage in my hobbies and things that brought me joy again, every day I made sure I was engaged in some sort of activity, going for a walk, reading a book under the sun, ringing up a friend, having coffee in a cafe, kept my mind active, I didn't allow my thoughts to take over, I just let them pass, once I gave my attention to one my thoughts, kept thinking about it, that's when it went downhill!

Slowly day by day, I started to feel positive, and started practising positive affirmations every morning, then one day I had the courage to step outside more and started being interested in other people, one thing I did when I met someone, I didn't talk about my personal life with them, I just asked questions and listened, slowly I was able to engage in conversations and meet more people.

Don't be too hard on yourself, look after yourself, give it some time, and take small steps each day. I know it can be overwhelming, take care.

@Hope2Recovery I’m definitely trying, but yeah, I try to spend time with friends out and about and literally everything I see or do or everywhere I go just blasts me with guilt and memories.

I had to rush home from the city because I was on the verge of breakdown, and I spent the entire train ride and car ride home barely able to breathe, curled up and shaking.

I will keep trying, and socialising, and reclaiming my hobbies but…

Nothing feels like me. Nothing feels joyful or interesting or something that I could call mine.

I’m expending more energy on recovery than I ever have on even life maintenance, and it’s really leaving me exhausted - most of my day spent rotting in bed because I have to save or restore what little energy I have. I’m scared I won’t have the capacity or strength to ever fully climb out of the hole.

Hi @Kares102

I hear you, I understand, that being in large noisy crowded areas can sometimes be overwhelming, try to take it slow, small activities and small goals each day, and throughout the day find a quiet place to calm your mind, you can try breathing exercises, mindfulness and just being in the present moment listening to nature, birds, can have a calming effect, take care and please remember to be kind to yourself.