ECT Therapy for Wife with BPD and depression - feeling anxious

Hi

I had friends who were very supportive (as much as I would let them)

Would your wife be receiving ECT as an inpatient or outpatient? I was an inpatient on a PICU ward. So visiting and stuff was fairly stricly controlled. It was helpful to have lots of visits - but generally on the days i wasn't receiving treatment. I felt fairly knocked around by the anaesthetic. And i think some people get headaches (I didn't). i think just understanding that it can be exhausting.

in terms of memory loss. I don't think i had much problem with short term memory at the time. As in if you told me something in the morning I could remember it in the afternoon/next day. It's just that looking back at that time period I have very few specific memories. It's a period that went a few weeks either side of the month of ECT. It's not absolute I remember some things - but just vaguely. But then there are also events which I hardly recall. like when I had leave and my friends took me out for my birthday - i remember we went out but couldnt tell you where we went or what we did. I haven't had any long term problems with memory though. And I was also recieving a lot of sedation while in hospital which may also have contributed.

For me the memory loss probably wasn't a bad thing. PICU is not an experience I want to remember in any more detail.

I can't imagine how hard it is trying to make these decisions with children... if she does end up having it i guess maybe take plenty of photos and videos? if your wife likes/is able to journal or something maybe she could use printed picture and write to capture what is important to her. I know it will never take the place of memory - but it might be a way to feel connected still.

The older kids - if memory loss is an issue maybe there's a way to get them involved. kind of like "helping mummy remember" they could write notes/draw pictures. have a white board or other memory list - what does mummy need to remember today/this week? eg important sporting events/school activities if short term memory is a problem. or pictures/letters of other things like birthday parties for long term.

Hope this helps.

Questions are fine 🙂

Hi @Former-Member

Thnakyou for your additional feedback.

Yes my wife is under a psychiatrist, she has only been seeing him for the last 2 years after becoming pregnant. The previous psychiatrist was most unhelpful and negative about the pregnancy (unplanned).

To clarify she is probably as bad as she has ever been since seeing the current psychiatrist, and I do currently have concerns about her safety, she was however much worse a couple of years ago due to the stress of me being forced to give up work. (The result of me refusing to get adequate care and support for myself as I was more concerned about my wife and consumed with my job to take the time).

The additional medical advice we are seeking is around general health and not directly to do with the mental health issues, I just cant help but feel that some of these things will have an impact. While the GP is being very thorough she doesn't seen any reason to delay the ECT as she has seen the benefits in other patients. As far as an intensive medical to rule out any physical reasons, not for a very long time.

I believe that there will be a comprehensive physical etc prior to the procedure but I believe that this is only to ensure there is no risk associated with the anaesthetic not to identify any underlying cause.

She has received various forms of counseling since the birth of our first child but I have not idea what they talk about or how effective it is- not very I'm afraid as she struggles to engage. The midwives got us started as they got all excited over what I thought was normal behaviour, but this has been a life long challenge for her. Mental illness is seen now with the benefit of hindsight as being throughout her entire family, its just that nobody is willing to talk about it.

Unfortunately at the moment she just doesn't want to be here, we have had that discussion only this afternoon and for her to actually tell me that her current mood is perhaps worse than I thought and perhaps I have to accept that is in fact time for a last resort treatment. I cant remember how we got through last time other than a stay in hospital (Private hospital mental health ward).

Thanks again for your thoughts.

@Determined - could you please clarify that I read correctly that your wife has not long given birth? Could it be possible she is also suffering post natal depression?

If it were me I would be asking the new GP to conduct extensive tests for hormone imbalance, thyroid imbalance, vitamin and iron deficiency etc - all of which can cause depression.

Defintely seek urgent attention if your wife is feeling suicidal. Please let us know how it all goes. Don't forget to look after yourself. With love for each other you will both get through this

Thanks again @Ali585 for the additional information, your insight has been most helpful, yours and everyone elses thoughts have allowed me to achieve some clarity and calm around this.

Treatment will be as an inpatient in a private mental health ward.
I know it is a long shot but I am really hoping that they will allow me to be with her before and after treatment in recovery. My wife has been receptive to this idea and is more than happy to have me there for the benefit of both of us. I have seen in my looking around for information that some facilities allow this. We have an appointment this week where I hope to be able to attend and ask some more questions, we have discussed it and my wife is agreeable to this.

On non treatment days I will probably just call the hospital and see if she is up for visitors. It is about 1.5 hour drive to get there so not as easy as just popping up and checking.

I will post an update on how things are processing and how we are all faring towards the end of the week.

Thanks again

Hi @Former-Member

Our baby is around 15 months old.
While post natal depression is a possibility I think the pre-existing depression is the bigger problem.
I personally believe that current birth control (ceased yesterday) is a large contributing factor. (also why I would like to wait for a bit, to give things a chance to equalise)

GP is also checking iron levels and full blood work (what ever that means) something that should have been done 6 months ago. The iron levels and birth control seem obvious to me now, I just wish I had thought to mention it then, I dont even know why I thought of it now other than grasping at straws as alternatives.

Thanks again and I will certinally post an update afer our appointment later this week.

I have heard certain birth control measures can cause Hormonal imbalance as well. I will just mention here that I also had pre-exisiting depression before suffering post natal, but the latter is what tipped me overtheeedge. Any Hormonal imbalance can cause major depression and once that is treated the depression can lift. It took me at least two years to recover from post natal depression. Good to read other tests are being performed. Look forward to your update. Wishing you both all the love, strength and support you can find.

Hi @Former-Member, @Ali585, @BlueBay, @Fancy_Pants,

Thank you all for your replies to my first post. Being able to come back here and review them over the past weeks has been helpful for me. Here is here is the update that I promised, sorry its taken so long.

So the GP did a lot of blood tests and everything came back as normal. I felt really stupid being disappointed at 'normal' blood tests but I was really hoping that there may have been an easier answer 😞

We have been back to the psyc for a review and the outcome was to wait a further 2 weeks to allow a new med a chance to take effect. (I cant help but feel that it is the current meds that are contributing to our current mood).
Unfortunately things have got much worse for my darling in the last couple of days and she will be going into hospital on Monday so that she can rest but also to ensure she remains safe. As to the plan moving forward - continue to wait for the med to take effect or just go ahead with the ECT? I really don't know at the moment. I guess we will find out on Monday or Tuesday.

I just feel really bad for feeling so anxious about a treatment that has the potential to help my darling especially as she is in so much pain at the moment. We have been able to discuss this though and she now understands that my reservations are out of concern for her. Just really looking for some peace at the moment so that I can be there to support my darling.

Thank you all for listening.

D

Hi @Determined

Thank you for the update. Your anxiety re treatments is perfectly understandable. Anti-depressants take up to six weeks to be fully effective. In that time a persons depression will worsen before it gets better. That's how these medications work as they make there way fully into our system. Perhaps explaining that to your wife will ease her pains and help her to persevere through those first initial weeks. Anti ds are the first port of call for depresssion. With her being in hospital she will be safe and if it were me I would be trying meds first. Sometimes it trial and error to find the right one.

Eventually things will improve for you both and you will find more peaceful times. Reassure yourself and wife of this all the time and you will find more inner peace...Keep hopeful, keep seeing a better future as there will be one. Have no doubt and let this give you the strength you need now. One day at a time only. Look forward to more updates 🤗

Just notice @Determined that your heading stated ECT for BPD and depression. Is that borderline personality disorder or bi-polar disorder? My daughter has both of these. For borderline personality disorder certain psychological therapies/counselling are the only known effective treatment for this the professionals have informed us

Hi @Former-Member

Thank you for your reply.

My wife's diagnosis is for Borderline Personality Disorder.
After trialling numerous meds without success however the doc is treating the depression as a separate issue, it seems, as a last resort. I have read from various sources that the ECT is at least less effective for people with borderline which adds to my anxiety as I have read that with variation to the treatment (cant give specific of my concern under community guideline) that there is also an increase in the risk. The doc however (and no disrespect intended, he is the doc not me) does not accept that there is any 'scientific evidence' to support my concern. (So does this mean that the people reporting on negative effects of the treatment are making it up?)

Previously, specific therapy has been very successful for my darling however at the moment getting out of bed is an achievement so doing any sort of therapy and associated homework is out of the question.
I am just really hoping that once the meds have a chance to kick in and side effects wear off that this may re-emerge as a more viable option. My wife does have a very psychologist that has good experience with DBTfor BPD and has been able to have success for her in the past. for some reason she stopped seeing him (it was all too hard I think), I will be trying to re establish that connection once we know what we are heading with the current treatment. (To add that to the mix at the moment would be too much)

I am also hoping that being in the hospital and away from lifes stresses (children's lunches, homework, dusting and cleaning the list goes on) all of which I am happy to do, will allow my darling to relax and rest giving the meds a chance to work. just a waiting game at the moment and giving my darling all the support that I can.

Thank you for your thoughts.