No support groups for single people?

@MJG017

The stats are incredibly worrying and thats why I dont understand why not enough is being done? I have heard literally nothing about Movember this year.

Yeah it's the whole "I just didn't feel a spark" or "we didn't seem to have any chemistry" which I think is an enormous amount of pressure to put on a first date. I dont think thats how human connections works or has ever worked tbh.

It could be because of the women I am dating but the only thing I can say in my defence is that I dont have a lot of choice. I dont think men have a lot of choice in this day and age. Particularly if you are introverted and quiet, no one wants to have anything to do with you.

Sorry if my message seems a little short compared to yours, I am just really struggling with everything at the moment.

@Messylife

I am glad you agree, I honestly think it's important with the proliferation of these ridiculous dating shows and it just seems to be all around us. No one in society is really speaking up about the serious impact on mental health for not being in a relationship

I remember putting that question or something similar to to an experienced practitioner who worked with domestic violence along the lines that the solution might be a dialogue between men and women about fairness.

This was met with an instant rejection. The argument was that men would simply prey on the women who turned up and they be victimised. I suggested that it should not happen if a group was well moderated. Impossible was the response.

This might be a clue, in that no practitioner wants to create more problems.

@Mathew76

There in lies the issue, while I believe that practitioner is not wrong its the toxicity behind that creates further divide between men and wrong.

The assumption that all men would just prey on women in that context is harmful and it fundamentally needs to stop. Right now, the dating world is screwed up as it is because you have men and women pitted against each other where each feel wary of the opposing side.

Women prey on men too (I should know as I have a personal experience of that happening). It may not always be as blatant or as obvious, but it does happen.

Having inter-gender dialogue on this issue that is well moderated and regulated would be a breath of fresh air in a politically and socially charged environment. Will it ever happen? Probably not because we have all been trained from an early age to see groups different to us as the "other". We have become so much more tribal now that it is hard to see something like this from working.

Dating will always be screwed up until we start to have some serious conversations about how to improve it. Having men and women talking about their separate issues in a controlled environment would be a start.

@Mathew76 @Messylife @MJG017 @tyme @Jynx

What do we need to do to get something like this off the ground? Like what was stated before, loneliness is a silent killer. Being single is more deadly than we all give it credit before. Maybe if we had more people in this group and feeling like they have solidarity in that they are not alone. I want something like this to be a thing and I dont know what else we can do.

@Mathew76 @Messylife @MJG017 @Jynx @tyme

Things I was thinking about that could be included:

- What we feel like comes up on dates.

- Are we living a life close to our values which will hopefully foster a relationship?

- What is getting in the way?

- Any success stories?

- Anything else?

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@Former-Member wrote:

What do we need to do to get something like this off the ground?

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@Former-MemberDo you mean on the forum, or a group outside of it? Here, you could start a new discussion with a title that will tell people exactly what it is. Just be prepared that it may take some work to keep it active initially to build the numbers and for it to get seen by existing and new members who would be interested. Even just trawling posts on the forum, looking for posts relating to similar issues and letting them know there is a discussion they might be interested in.

As someone who has started an in-person support group this year, it does take some effort and most importantly, time, to get established. Even then people come and go, so it does take some time to get enough participants to find some stability. It can be very rewarding when it's successful though.

@MJG017

Yeah I know I fully aware of that. I have tried to start my own and it didn't work out. I am still determined to get one up and running one day.

I would like it to be both, either here or in real life. Just something to get going.

The idea of 'success stories' is great! I often wonder how people meet up. @Former-Member