No support groups for single people?

So in terms of 'support groups' are you referring to support for those people who have resigned to the fact that they will be single and want support through the feelings associated?

Or are you referring to support groups that help singles connect with other singles?

You'll probably find that both of the above do exist but they are not so much named "support for singles"...

It sounds like you are expending a lot of energy longing for something you say you don't have. Would it be more productive to spend the energy to do something about it?

I know you mentioned you have done a lot in the past, but what else can you do, or what can be done differently? @Former-Member

Hi @Former-Member about 14 years ago I was on a forum similar to this one, but for lonely people. Many in there were single, but not all. I assume there are still places like that, probably Facebook groups these days, but it wont be all single people. I did make some good friends in the one I was on who were all single as well at the time.

I know there are singles events occasionally, but i don't know much about them... they always sounded terrifying to me.

I know it's a huge leap, but if you're looking for a group and there doesn't seem to be one, make you could think about creating one. Even just starting out here with a new discussion for people coping with the loneliness of being single. I think one issues for something like a singles support group may be a lot of people might just see it as a dating group, but if it's your group you can control what sort of group it is.

A friend and I created a support group this year, one in which just didn't seem to exist, and it's been very successful so far, because everyone who has joined has said they had be looking for a group like ours and were so happy to finally find one.

@tyme @MJG017

I dont know what to do thats why I am struggling immensely. I am putting in the effort but I am not seeing any rewards at all. That's why I would like a group as we could share our ideas together or our struggles. But the way the world treats this issue there is no chance of that happening.

I have tried to start a group on this issue, on three separate occasions, but nothing happened and they all died out. I spent so much time sorting out all the logistics or just planning and no one joined. So I dont know what to do.

I HATE EVERYTHING I HATE THIS WORLD SO MUCH I AM SO SICK OF BEING TOLD OFF OR INVALIDATED I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT

Hey @Former-Member I am really hearing your pain. It can feel really disheartening to put effort towards creating a space, only to have it fizzle out.

@Former-Member why don't you tell us a bit about yourself? What brings you joy, what sparks your passion, what makes you giggle, you know? If it is connection you're looking for, well the community is right here, keen for connections! Proividing support can be nourishing sure, but it doesn't necessarily create a sense of comradery or shared experience - maybe you could spend some time getting to know some members, and letting them get to know you?

@Jynx

I want connection with other single people because I am sick of single people being left out in regards to support. We are persona non grata, no one cares about us because we are clearly not attractive enough to have a partner. Its so unfair that their are non-monogamous people who can have multiple relationships but people like me cant have one. Its so unfair that I have had to spend so much time and money to build this area of my life where others dont have to do any of that and get better results.'

I HATE IT SO MUCH ITS SO UNFAIR ARRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Oh, is that the case @Former-Member ? That you want connection with other single people? I'm single. Does that count?

@tyme people who are single who are making a concerted effort to try and date and keep getting stuck and have no clarity has to why it keeps happening. thats who

Fair enough. But, just say, you find like-minded people who all have the same/similar struggle, would that meet up be effective? Wouldn't it be more helpful to speak to people who have 'succeeded' and looking for their strategies, as opposed to those who haven't been 'successful'?

Only a thought. Otherwise the tendency might be to all meet and ruminate over the same pain? I'm not sure that would be helpful @Former-Member

Only a thought. Feel free to take it with a grain of salt.

@tyme

I have and I have found these are the people that offer mostly belittling or invalidating advice about it. Because something happens to people when they get into a relationship. It's almost like they forget what it's like to be single and have no idea how hard it can be, particularly if you have ASD/ADHD and you are a introverted shy man in the 21st century. I was quite literally scammed by one of these people for a lot of money. They are just a bunch of grifters that want your money and dont care about helping you.

I want to know that I am not alone and there are support groups for others out there that are helping to help facilitate conversations about this stuff. Again, I have been talking about this for 10 years and have tried to start groups up like this as well. No one cares about this because we all take relationships for granted in this society and have no idea how damaging it is to not be in one, particularly if you are an introverted shy man, you have no hope.

If you have been trying for 10 years and it's not working, it sounds like maybe you can look at trying something different?

Don't get me wrong. In the past, when I looked at people in relationships, I used to envy them. I think it's quite natural to do so.

But then, maybe it's about what you are going to do with those feelings. Are you going to sit and grieve over it, or are you going to get up and change something because the current isn't working.

Sometimes, it's not about how long you try for but how you do it.

Bottom line, if something's not working - change it.

In this regard, you gotta help yourself. Not one can do it for you. People can sit beside you, introduce you to people, take you to see people, but the 'shy man' is still in you. What are you going to do about it? @Former-Member