@Walkoneggshells
You say that “we make ourselves depressed” - I don’t necessarily agree with that. It may be the case for some people, but I don’t see myself in that situation. I come from a very dysfunctional family and grew up surrounded by a lot of tension for all sorts of reasons.
My father was quite unable to manage and show his emotions, even the happy ones. If there were upsets of different kinds he responded with anger. My parents were not suited to each other, or to marriage, and my mother was intimidated by her husband. I only remember my father telling me he loved me once, and that was in a letter. My father also didn’t know how to show physical affection, and my mother didn’t like physical contact.
My mother did tell me she loved me from time to time, but it usually came at or near the end of some big upset, if at all, and I never felt like she really meant it, or that it was heart-felt.
Neither of my parents gave me much of their time in positive ways either.
So growing up with that tension, feeling lost and lonely, and not really feeling loved as a child, a teenager, and into adulthood had a huge impact on me and I never learnt to overcome it, which brings me to where I am now - depressed and with anxiety. Obviously, I guess, there’s a lot more to the story.
