One Day at a time here

*hugs to you* @Shaz51 .

Would you feel safe / want to share what feelings and thoughts this brings up for you?

I know for me, I would be feeling hurt and either not-thought-of or ignored/unimportant to them. I sometimes see that relatives or friends of mine that live 4+ hours away are or have been travelling within 30 minutes of my home and did not reach out to see if I was available to have even a 15 min coffee catch-up with them as they passed the town (e.g. a driving rest break). When I offer my father to come visit, he says "Why would i visit there? I've been there before." He doesn't even realise the implication (which he does not intend) of "visiting you is not of interest to me". I've lived here for 9 years now and he has never come "to visit" me - only when he had to come for a work trip (he has since retired). If I did not understand how my dad's brain thinks, it would be really hurtful to me when he asks why we would want to come to the town I am in.

If I knew you offline, I'd think you were worth visiting. I guess that's why I visit your threads & coffee chats when I can. Because to me you are worthwhile and I care and like you. I'm really sorry your family don't seem to cherish and value you that way.

@rav3n , @StuF , @AlwaysMyself

Feeling sad, unwanted , unloved , my cousin and her family lived 10 hours away and her mother and sister lives where I am

Have not seen her since last April when my mum passed away

I feel the family unit has broked apart since last april

After we mowed a lawn I texted my cousin who lives here and she said they have reached the city where they are staying for the next few days

@rav3n , I text my cousin and said sorry I missed you today , you should of texted me

@AlwaysMyself , @StuF. @rav3n

She just rang and said sorry , they drove 10 hours to here picked up her mum and went another hour to the city

So she is going to visit me , texting me later

Having tears here

❤️ 🫂 @Shaz51

@Shaz51 sitting with you in those feelings; they are valid and very understandable feelings.

Did it feel good to be able to send that message to your cousin?

I think that was a tactful way of commenting that you saw she was in town, and would have liked to see her. 😊 Do you think they will have the time to catch up with you whilst they are nearby, knowing that you would like to see them? (Or was she leaving town when you saw her, rather than arriving for the upcoming week?)

It sounds like your mum was a bit like the "glue" between the relatives?

Was there something that you can think of that your mum used to do that brought the family together? (a topic everyone would get involved in discussing? an annual lunch/dinner event?)

Does your family have any online group-chat to keep in contact via?

My relatives on my mum's side that live local to me, we meet for dinner once a month (whoever is available) and have a chat-group to tell people what date & who's turn it is to host, and to RSVP. My sister, father, mother and I (even though my parents are split) still have a "family chat" group which we occasionally share photos or articles in - we don't use it often, but it can be a good way to keep in contact for big updates (e.g. my sister is in the process of having a house built, so she sends us photo updates occasionally). I wonder if that could be a way to stay a little more connected to them?

@AlwaysMyself , @StuF , @rav3n @Dimity

Last night was very nice with D1 and grandson

Nice dinner and pav for dessert

Imagine a big box with a door and fairy lights and grandson, grandma and granddad in the cubby box 🤣😂🤣

Should of seen me getting back out

Had fun opening presents 🎁 and he is going to have a sister or brother next year

Just saw your update @Shaz51 - posted whilst I was replying.
I am glad (if you are, that is) that she called you and will visit you. Is that a good outcome for you?

Tears are 100% OK and valid. They can be a really healing way to release the emotions. I let myself cry this morning as I was at the shops; unlike you I didn't even have any triggering thing happen! I just felt sad and teary. And that was OK, it's OK to cry.

*passes you a virtual tissue, and a virtual cup of perfectly warm/hot coffee*

So glad she is going to visit after all @Shaz51

But totally understandable for you to have an emotional reaction. Especially at this time of year

Awesome that last night went so well @Shaz51 !!

@AlwaysMyself , @Dimity @StuF , @rav3n

Sent her the message , then I thought I shouldn't of sent the message and thought ohh noo what have I done

My aunty ( mum's sister ) dropped in for a cuppa ever day and they both helped at the op shop together

So when family members were in town they came here to mum's place and rang others to come

Mum was 92 when she went so you can imagine