Anyone started with the NDIS?

Hi @Former-Member I'm not sure what you took out but don't forget we are anonymous here. I have a Disability Advocate helping to do the AAT appeal, so it sounds like you are going to have similar support. They are really good. It was them who applied for, and succeeded in getting me a legal aid solicitor too. It makes such a difference feeling like you are not alone in the fight. You're right, we shouldn't have to fight but we do.... so wrong. And so many people with MH just aren't up to it. One of the things my case hinges on is proving that I have exhausted the public mental health (what NDIS calls 'mainstream') services and they are not enough.

Hoping things progress more smoothly for you, and don't drag out like they have for me. I'm really glad to hear you are getting some help.

@eth life was never meant to be this way was it .... when i look back there was nothing that I did wrong during the pregnancy .... I didnt drink or smoke .... and he was such a cute baby but even as a baby i could see something was not right .... he showed signs of autism in his first year of life. But all the violence in the home (that you too endured) changes a person. I am a very different person now to what I was before he was born. It has also affected my other children too so badly I dont know if they will ever fully recover from it,

Just the other day when he was getting aggresive towards me and my daughter came in she said to me not to worry that she would grab him by the legs and throw him down if he hurt me ... can you believe it ... if i think about it too long it makes me so sad.

Aw @Bunniekins I am sad for you too. It's terrible when we have to learn self-defence methods just to live with our own child. Do you have any sort of respite plan at all? That's another thing that the carers organization in your state could help with. Here they're called Carers NSW - would be something like that where you are. I feel for you about the effects on your other children too.
I only had one child to raise (another was stillborn) and can only imagine the ripple effect for you and your family. My child was 3 months premmie in the late 80s, due to a Dr rupturing my membrane in a pap smear. Born only 2lbs. And the prematurity caused the blindness. Unfortunately I wasn't diagnosed accurately until 2009 so a lot of rotten things happened in their childhood as a result of my choices and behaviour. They have PTSD from their childhood. I have guilt and shame even though we both have forgiven each other. They acknowledge that I tried my best, but at the same time lots was just not good enough. So I feel like I'm the one caused the ripple effect in our little family (their Dad left me when I was pregnant so I was always a single Mum).

I totally agree that some things change us forever. Hearing you loud and clear.

@eth God I wish we could sit over a cup of coffee and just talk it all out with you eth ... this will have to do though so be it. My son does have respite care which is wonderful and he really enjoys it which is even better. The thing is I feel I cannot really open up to anyone as no one truely understands except my Dr G who has now left I can only hope that my new psychiatrist is half as good as him. No one is perfect particuarly when you are plagued with a mi.

My god you have been through hell haven't you. You coped with all of this all by yourself kudos to you eth. You are a strong woman dealing with everything you have and are still kind and forgiving.

Just last night I had a recurring dream of being swallowed up by a tidal wave the first time my head was above water but my youngest died and the second time both myself and my autistic son went under and died. Read about the meaning and apparently it is about being overtaken by emotions and feeling out of control in rl in certain situations. So true in my case.

What a terrifying dream @Bunniekins. You must have been in a right state when you woke up.

I would love to sit down and yarn with you too - but at least we can open up to each other here. It really moves me when I (rarely) find someone on the forums with whom I have significant common ground. Thanks for trusting me enough to share your story.

I don't know that I 'coped' with it all! But we did survive and sometimes that has to be enough. You too must be incredibly strong to be living your reality. I'm so glad the forums are here for us.

Resilience is much talked about but I think some events knock it out of us.

Wouldn't it be amazing to thrive, not just survive?

@eth Funny you should say that to thrive not just survive I have been thinking alot about that lately on how I can achieve that. Any ideas greatly appreciated? lol.

@Bunniekins for me, looking back, as much as I could I found ways of 'contributing to society', 'having a sense of purpose'. I was a massage therapist for over 25 years, but only ever part-time freelancing doing mobile visits, working mostly in people's homes and sometimes at events like marathons voluntarily. I always kept my price down for people who would not otherwise have afforded the treatment. I specialized in single mums at home. That meant I got out and about in a way that totally took me away from my own issues. However I reached a point where I developed carer fatigue on top of the cPTSD and bipolar 1. I could no longer have other people's health in my hands and had to prioritise my own health needs. Ironically it was probably the excess energy from bipolar hypomania that enabled me to do it for so long, but I had no idea of that at the time.

So I recommend either voluntary work if you can have flexible hours, or some sort of self-employment where you control your hours to fit around your family's needs. This can only work if you have suitable care that's reliable and regular hours for your son. But I totally understand if you're not up to that and that's why I think your goal of studying is great for the time being. Or even joining groups e.g. writers or cooking or such. I haven't been able to work for over a decade now. I tried going back to study and renew my qualifications but only lasted a few months (while I was on a high mood swing) before another major depression stopped me from completing the course. Blew a few thousand dollars on the course for nothing.

I'm raving here!

@eth Eth voluntary work is a great idea. Outlander gave me an idea yesterday about premmie baby jumpers that needed to be knitted I could give that a go ... I also wanted to do knitting for ex factory farmed chooks to keep them warm and stop them from pecking off their feathers due to their stress.

That would fit into my lifestyle quite well. I have put my studies on hold. i just do not have the mental capacity to cope with it and I am so tired all the time too at least I am keeping up with my health routine which is one thing that I really want to achieve this year. Thank God for HECS otherwise I would have blown a couple of thousand too!

Don't you have to pay HECS back @Bunniekins? I had a study debt from the 90's that I didn't pay back until around 2007/8 - during that time, even tho' there was no interest as such, it was indexed every year and grew from $3500 to over $14000 by the time the ATO caught up with me. I had to use my inheritance to pay it. This was despite me always having been under the income threshold for repaying it.

Knitting for premmies and chooks sounds like a really worthwhile occupation @Bunniekins and I know you enjoy knitting. Perfect.

Sorry to hear about putting studies on hold but I totally understand.

@eth you only have to pay back HECS when you start working and are earning over a certain threshold. Which I have not been able to do so yet.