Am Not Coping

I am really exhausted so am going to cuddle up now. Hope you make it off chair island and into bed tonight.

Sleep well sweetheart...

Love ya @Faith-and-Hope

Love ya too @Zoe7 .... 🤗💕

💚💐🦋 💕💜💐🐬💕💚💐🦋 💕💜💐🐬💕💚💐🦋 💕💜

Morning Hon

Finally seen the image - actually made me giggle a little with the tiny little puppy dog standing in the middle of the rose @Faith-and-Hope - the two things I am most fond of - Toby and You - both together

I did get some sleep eventually - actually got up early, fed the babies and then slept for another few hours. I am still very tired but not as anxious or feeling as sick this morning. I need to still take it very easy as I am still very achey and sore but a day in front of the tv might be do-able today.

Goodluck with your appointment today sweetheart

Hi @Zoe7

I have been thinking about you - while I was away I was reading bitznpiecez on my phone in different parts of the forum and I don't know where I was reading but I know you had a rough time there - I don't know what it was about but I want to let you know I read it and that I care about you

You have been in my thoughts a great deal

Dec

We had a bit of rain overnight and this morning. It seems to have cleared for now but it is too cold to go outside. I already have the blanket wrapped around me and Toby is curled up on the couch cushion behind me with his little paw on my shoulder - soooooo cute @Faith-and-Hope He really is the most beautiful little puppy dog Cat is asleep near the heater - where all good cats tend to be. She is adorable too but doesn't get much of a look in with Toby around. I make sure she gets extra cuddles each day so she doesn't feel neglected

What is on the menu for breakfast this morning?

Oh @Owlunar That is so sweet It is really nice to 'hear' from you. How was your trip? I haven't been keeping up with anyone really (except @Faith-and-Hope here) as I haven't been in a place to do anymore than get through each day myself. Yes it hs been a really tough couple of weeks. I have been quite ill again and my GP moved practices last week - so everything happening at the same time - and at a time when I was already very vulnerable did send me 'over the edge'. The last 4 or 5 days have been the most difficult. It has been coming for a long time though and this morning is the first time in a very long time that my thoughts are not totally consumed with not wanting to live anymore. All I can do is take it minute by minute for now.

I hope you are doing ok and your pain is manageable atm

hahaha - I love porridge but not rhubarb - definitely the nutmeg, brown sugar and butter - with a hint of cinnamon - yummy

It is so hard running a business and 'letting' it completely take over your life! My Dad did exactly the same thing with his business - and we were the ones that suffered for it. Ever since he sold the business he has been a much nicer person to be around. Me confronting him years ago has definitely helped my relationship with him also. We are by no means close but I can now say I have a father that I respect and in some ways admire for how he has changed himself for the better - and we do have the same sense of humour that my mother and sister just DON'T get most of the time (we think we are funny lol)

Hi @Zoe7

Yes - I picked up bitzpieciz as I said - but I don't have my phone connected to mycomputer because I would be overloaded with messages -

But I could tell you were battling in a big way - and what can I say except there are times when living from one twenty minutes space to the next twenty minute space and this can be a long long time

Having your GP move practice is really hard - I have had this sort of challenge - it can happen at the worst times possible which can make us feel a little put down - I was anyway.

I don't know what it's like to wake up not wanting to live anymore - but I do know what it's like to wake up feeling that I am in some kind of war and I would rather not be there - but I have found that life does go on and things change - but as in your case recently - the change is not always good

So you are living minute to minute atm - ah dear - not good

Compared with all of this my back pain is not high on the radar at all - and I hope - I really do hope - that all of this passes soon

Lots of hugs

Dec