FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

9,361 - 9,370 of 38,645

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Across: beheld (3) ..., last letter W
Down: physics particle (4)

@Zoe7

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

That is pretty impressive @Faith-and-Hope - it is heartwarming for me to know that someone 'has your back' in this process. It is no wonder S2 does the same as WH seeing as he sees his dad as a role model - and the other baby dragons will hopefully see those little changes and start being a little more patient and less 'aggressive' towards you also. I have my finders and toes crossed and Toby has his paws crossed for you too

across - SAW?

down - ATOM

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Faith-and-Hope I really feel like KFC right now but I know I can't afford it - and it will make me feel sicker (and I've had too many meds to drive ) but the thought of it is still tempting!!!! Was going to go to the shop on the way home but was too thrown by the news so came straight home.

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

across - SAW ✅

down - ATOM. ✅

Yes ..... it is such a relief ..... but where I thought it was an environmental influence, it is actually genetic as well ...... so once WH was triggered it brought far, far more of the environmental influences into play. It is all becoming much easier to understand what has happen d with all our dynamics, but it is beyond me to fix it under these cirmstances.

If the kids are 50% WH and 50% me ..... I wonder whether they will start calling on my influences within S2 as well, as a part of balancing him out again. That will also increase my validity in this equation ..... not that I am perfect, cos I'm not ..... it's just that WH and his family are so extreme in this triggered state ...... and what the therapists are saying supports my position where my position had been overwhelmed previously .....

The pendulum has swung back the other way .....

Across: obsessive enthusiast (lol) (6) .... M _ _ I _ _

Down: Tv promotions (abbrev.) (3)

@Zoe7

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Do you have any chicken at home @Zoe7 ?

It's a spiced buttermilk coating on KFC ..... maybe an oven-baked version will quell that craving, even if its milk and egg, or yogurt, rather than buttermilk .....

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

We could hope that the kids are more than 50% you - that would give them a 'fighting' chance to come out the other side of all this with more longevity in regards to balanced and acceptable behaviours.

Keep the pendulum swinging your way I say Hon - and then superglue it so it can't ever swing back again lol @Faith-and-Hope

across - MANIAC

down - ads

No - I don't have anything - I really need to do some shopping - haven't been up to it at all. I will try to go out a bit later otherwise it will have to wait until tomorrow.

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hope you keep some tinned goods on hand @Zoe7 ..... those cups of pre-cooked rice and a tin of corn, and a tin of tuna are a good combo that tick all the boxes .... pinch of died onion and splash from a boiled kettle and dinner is ready ......

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Have to walk home from the coffee shop now @Zoe7 ..... I ended up here late today ..... so I can keep chatting on the way home, but the crossword is not achieveable with the umbrella ...... lol ..... not an octopus ...... 😏

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

No tinned anything @Faith-and-Hope

I don't tend to have much tinned or packaged food of any type - everything is usually fresh (except for pasta - I don't make that fresh - too much effort lol)

I'll wait until late when the afterschool and end-of- work traffic has gone and get a few things to get me by the next couple of days. If that fails I still have my favourite snack food - carrots!!!

Not an octopus - oh no - completely shattered my illusions of you lol What exactly would a mix of an octopus and a flower look like (with grey/silver hair) mmmmm interesting visuals in my head lol

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Yes .... the visuals on that sure are mind-boggling @Zoe7 ..... 🤣🤣🤣
9,361 - 9,370 of 38,645