Am Not Coping

Hi @Zoe7

I understand - Tassie is a small place

The first time I went to Hobart my aunt picked us up from the airport and it was late afternoon in winter and she told us she would drive us all over Hobart before dark - and I was puzzled by this but yes - she did - and I love Hobart

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@Zoe7 wrote:

. I also tend not to 'mention' my experiences in some fields to anyone - this can get a little frustrating however at times when I listen to others who have 'no idea what they are talking about' yet continue to believe they 'know everything".

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I know what you mean about people thinking they know more than they possibly could and there very recital tells us how little they know - I find it a real pain

I also battle with people telling me something - which is fine - I can listen - but when I ask a question about what they are talking about they don't even hear the question - or note my curiosity - this really gives me itches between my shoulder blades

My favourite conversation was with my pain specialist when I asked her about getting my licence again - and she got into her mode of dealing with geriatric pain sufferers - and I am not like that - my mind is still switched on and the specialist harped on and on about how things have changed on the road since I last drove - and like I have noticed. However I felt that my shoulder - the left one with the big surgical scar - was the main problem - you know - swinging the steering wheel around - hand over hand - my shoulder might not like that - but we never got that far

I still want to drive but I can't get my licence again without her approval and I am not getting any younger

Yes - I really do hear what you are saying

Dec

Surprisingly enough @Owlunar I love Hobart too. I moved to Sydney along time ago but that only lasted 6 months. I wasn't happy in the situation I was in and then we had the news of what happened at Port Arthur so I immediately cam back. As it happened - that was also the year that my grandmother was diagnosed with Cancer and died just after my birthday. So the silver lining there was that I got to spend those last few months with her - my nan, my best friend and the person I have loved more than anyone else in my life. She really was everything to me We had a very special bond. She loved all her grandchildren equally but her and I were extremely close. My grandparents place was my sanctuary. I would stay there most weekends at primary school and then when I went to high school I practically lived there. It definitely allowed me to 'escape' everything I had to deal with at home....

I completely understand you wanting to drive Dec. If I can't drive I feel I have lost my independence and my security in a way. Just being able to go where I want and when I want (when I am able to) and to also know I can leave any 'situation' I am in that causes anxiety or fear is essential for me.

Are you able to see another GP to talk about you driving and your concerns about your shoulder?

Hi @Zoe7

That Port Arthur Event - I am sure everyone remembers that - I went there with my aunt a long time before that happened and I could feel the terrible despair - my daughter was young but she felt it too -

Years later I was in Hobart with my rellies - and my aunt suggested I drive down there and spend the night in a motel - hardly - that place literally gives me shivers - I could not spend a night there

I'm sorry about your Nan - it is really hard having anyone close to us with cancer - it has to be one of the hardest things to face - I really can't imagine

My Gran used to "rescue" me - although she seemed to live at our house she had a little place not far away and she would sometimes take me by the hand and lead me out and take me there - I had toys and clothes and a stretcher there in a little box room and I have no idea what happened or why and I think Gran kept me safe - I have wonderful memories of her

I have a taxi card and use taxis a lot - I think it probably works out cheaper in the long run when I calculate the cost of running a car but I really wish I could drive and as you say - you can just leave a situation -

My GP knows I want to drive but the only way I can go for my licence again is to go through my pain specialist - older people wanting to renew their licence have to go through that hospital

I can't help but think it is more than a little discrimatory - young people have more accidents - I was a good driver - I miss it - really - what I want to do is to drive around the coast - or just drive down to the beach in the morning - or late in the day - I find not driving harder than anything else that is not possible right now

Gotta change the record - enough griping

Dec

@Faith-and-Hope I am glad your friend is back in communication with 'everyone' she needs to be and more importantly getting the support and help she needs.

I am getting really tired here. It is quite dark and has been raining heavily all day. Toby has come and snuggled up on my lap after trying to lick my face. He doesn't like it when I am in pain or crying - he gets a really sad look on his little face. So he won't be moving far from me all afternoon (as usual).

I am already starting to struggle with pain but am trying not to take too many pain killers. I will see how the next half an hour or so goes. I can't let it get too bad though as that then leads to all the other 'stuff'.

After last night I am reluctant to try to sleep it off - don't want any added 'images' in my head or the associated thoughts and feelings.

I'll look at my jars and my flowers when I need to to help me get through - knowing they were sent with love and from someone who cares!

Drive carefully and stay safe Hon. I need you to be around for a lot longer

Enjoy your trip and know I will be thinking of you with fondness and love

@Owlunar you can gripe away anytime!

oh @CheerBear - that is such good timing - usually it is @Faith-and-Hope that pops up just when I need it.

premature posting thereby me @CheerBear How has your day been?