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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I am ..... but just had to leave S2 home cos he ran late for an appointment ...... 😔 ..... heading home to see what state he is in now.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Did he make it to his appointment @Faith-and-Hope?

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

No .... and it was a shared apt with his sister, so I had to bring her without him when he was almost ready, or face ire at the dr's for making their appointments late ......

Rock or hard place ...... we will all live ..... ❣️

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

That sucks @Faith-and-Hope but you had no choice. Hope he is ok when you get home.

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

He is agro @Zoe7 cos he was just inside the door when I took off, but I was ringing him on his phone to see whether he was just there or not and he wouldn't answer ..... so yes, I had no choice, and he is just going to have to get over it.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Yes you had no choice @Faith-and-Hope and that should be a lesson learnt for him

He will have to get over it because the only person to blame here is him - maybe that is why is agro - because he knows he 'stuffed up' I hope he calms down quickly and can acknowledge this to you Hon

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I hope so @Zoe7 ..... but he is struggling with anxiety and depression and turning it in on himself ..... so will beat himself up over this too ..... but it is up to the psychiatrist to teach him to not do that ..... and my place to keep the goalposts steady for S2 .....

It's keeping the goalposts steady to let him know that he has to be left behind if he is making others late for an appointment, and if he had answered his phone I could have waited the few seconds longer for him to jump into the car with us.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Exactly @Faith-and-Hope you stay your course and he needs to find a way to catch up and sail along with you

He has made progress already with his psychiatrist and we know these things do take time - but having you supporting him and setting boundaries that are well defined will help him more in the long run - no ambiguity, no 'giving in' but lots of love along the journey

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

That's how I see it @Zoe7, but WH doesn't and is invalidating me to the kids as"absent" ..... 😔

I can't reaolve any of this ..... as you said, I can only hold my course ......

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Sorry @Faith-and-Hope I needed some time on my own to try and deal with some 'stuff'.

I have confidence that your baby dragons will see through WH's behaviour in the long run - this does not help you at the moment but it isn't sustainable in the long term. Stay strong Hon (I know you will) and look forward to 'getting your family put back together' - in whatever form that takes in the future.

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