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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Former-Member I knew you where trying to support zoe but I could sense you needed support too. I did notice and I do care. How are you travelling- are you really distressed?are you safe?

Try and do something nice for yourself tomorrow- keep safe and warm

I will be in Hawaii next month, I am lookinf forward to it

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Aww, shucks @oceangrl made me cry, yeah, I'm kinda safe, just numb I guess. Watching dvds (more background), chatting here, resting on lounge, sleeping on & off all day (miserable weather), under doona with dog curled up at my feet (follows me everywhere), guess though I feel do lonely/empty/lost, I guess things could be so much worse. Thanks for asking.
Think I'm gonna hide in your suitcase and tagalong to Hawaii with you lol

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Morning everyone ..... 🤗💕

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Faith-and-Hope How are you today? Is your appointment with WH today or tomorrow - I've lost track of time a bit - sorry!

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @Zoe7 ..... 🤗💚💕

Had the apt with WH and pdoc last week ..... that went okay, but he has recommended family counselling, and we can't go much further without putting WH's e.d. out on the table.

While he has no insight into his behaviour being an eating disorder, and having built his whole life around it, you can understand that I am nervous about the fact that we have to burst this bubble.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I am so sorry @Faith-and-Hope I do remember now you had that appointment last week - my head really isn't quite right atm

I can certainly understand how nervous you would be - and I suspect a little scared as well

Once that 'bubble is burst' there are certainly going to be some huge hurdles to jump over and alot of potholes and boulders to negotiate (cliches here I know but it is the best descriptions I can come up with for now Hon).

Please know that whatever happens, and whenever things start to 'unravel' I will be here holding your hand and walking right beside you all the way... and reminding you to breathe

Love, hugs and strength Hon...

Zoe

ps: I posted some photos last night on F&A for you

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Pressed Send a bit fast ...... @Zoe7 .....

I tried to flag the pdoc - whose priority is S2, not WH and me - that WH has an e.d. With lack of insight, and his professional opinion is that he wants all that put out into the table in family counselling.

Whether WH has a lack of insight or. It may appear irrelevant to him at this stage, but he had said that S2's comments are all vague, and he clearly hasn't mentioned his father having an e.d., so it's all stuff and nonsense to the pdoc at the moment, including me trying to contact him around my son and husband.

He said he would raise my phone call with S2 in their apt tomorrow ..... and that tells me I have done the right thing. The pdoc can't possibly understand or support S2 properly with so much of our ice-berg still submerged.

Soooo ....... I really really need S2 to speak up tomorrow when he is questioned about this, and validate what I have said ..... including, and especially, that WH has no insight into his illness.

The pdoc has already diagnosed WH as ocpd in his meeting with him two weeks ago, and coupled with this information (if S2 speaks up) that should start alarm bells going.

Not going to consider the "if he doesn't, if it doesn't ..... " scenario yet, because any of these events can and will change our direction, and I am furiously resisting the temptation to fear the worst and tie myself up in knots over it ..... and whatever "the worst" turns out to be, the truth will be out there anyway, and we will find a path forward too ......

Time to sit on my hands and breathe ...... think I'm doing a damn fine job of it too ...... 😏 ..... at least I hope so ..... ❣️

Faith and hope ..... faith and hope ...... faith and hope .......

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Thank you so much @Zoe7 ...... honest to God, don't know where I would be without the support of the forums this last year or so. I really was at the end of my strength to cope, and I am so grateful to EDV for suggesting this to me .....

Thanks for the heads-up re F&A ..... didn't receive a notification, which is still happening on quite a few threads ...... maybe I'm over my quota ...... 😉lol

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I thought that might have happened re: notifications because I am still not getting alot as well - mainly from you - so if I don't respond to any of your posts it is simply that I haven't received the email @Faith-and-Hope

@NikNik ???

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I need to leave for my appointment @Faith-and-Hope but I will read your posts more carefully when I get back home. I will leave you with this for now... my little bit of light shining for you...

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