Am Not Coping

Courage is something we all posses but cannot always recognise in ourselves. That is why we sometimes need to let each other know that we do have strength and we do have courage as without either we would not be able to 'talk' about our experiences as openly as we do here. When we also 'find' someone who understands and /or can relate to our experiences it also feels like a lessening of the burden (however briefly at times) and that we are definitely not alone.

You have shown considerable strength and courage in your own situation and that is something that your kids are now beginning to recognise in themselves also - that is down to you being such a great mother and role model for them @Faith-and-Hope

It may still be swings and roundabouts but at least those swings and roundabouts are showing some added colour and not a simply being painted a dark shade of grey atm!

I hope you can find the time and headspace to paint today - I am hoping I will too. I don't have a GP appointment today (only the chemist pick up). I am also planning to get out of the house for a little while as it is a nice sunny day - maybe take Toby to the beach a little later if it warms up a bit and I am not too tired.

How hard it is to continue in the face of oppositional behaviour and trouble maintaining whatever courage we have

Did I read all of that - I am not sure - but I certainly caught what @Faith-and-Hope was talking about her MIL warning her about her behaviour when it is obvious to us that Faith is doing her best to hold it together with her MIL taking pride in a maladaptive behaviour set in WH

Yes - I think that they deserve each other

And @Zoe7

Yes - we are told that the courage and strength are there but we can't always feel them - how often have I told people what I think I see in their writing but know all the time that we do not feel as strong as we are

But - you know - however it comes across I read stories of great courage here

Dec

That sums up Tassie @Faith-and-Hope - It is a beautiful place to live - everything is so close but it does get cold. I find the shorter days really hard - especially when I am working - I leave in dark and get home in dark - as you can imagine this makes the days really difficult for me as my anxiety starts even before I get home some days. That subsequently means I am not able to do anything when I get home apart from feed my babies (and sometimes myself) and then try to keep my anxiety from rising and feel as safe as I can.

Which part of Tassie did you live in?

Yes @Owlunar the forum is filled with 'stories' of great courage and strength. We also tend to begin to understand how someone is really doing by the way they write - this is more evident the closer we become to someone - by the words they use, the phrases, the responses etc. I feel that that is one of the most supportive things we can really do on the forum - actually 'listen' to what is being said and know where someone is 'at' in respect to what we already know of them. No 'story' is posted in isolation and everyone who posts needs to know they have been 'heard' - that is the most empowering and positive thing we can do for ourselves and for each other.

Zoe

I agree @Zoe7

These stories form a tapestry - and one brings another and they weave and grow and make a larger story - how do we go on when things can be so tough and so hard to face

Bad nights and days are ordinary events when we know we can share them with a community that understands this - perhaps this is why my nights are no longer so scary - after my mother died I could hardly bear to have the nights - I understand what I am reading because I am not alone

Therapy has helped but there are still times when I feel so angry with my mother - and right now this is made harder because of the Mothers Day adds on TV - but knowing that other people have the same sort of things happening is something else again - something hard to grasp but really there

Dec

The North West of Tassie is very green - but so is much of Tassie lol @Faith-and-Hope That is the magic of this little island state - there is no much untouched beauty and so close wherever you live in the state. Within an hour of Hobart you have everything that you could ask for - beautiful forests, national parks, beaches, history and unique landscapes - not to mention the food!

@Owlunar This place really is a unique tapestry of life that helps to sustain us in our times of need. I have also found the nights to be more and more manageable by knowing that I can find some company on here to help me through them. Often feel I am being repetitive with my 'struggles' but it is my reality and having the encouragement from others to get through and get past what I am feeling in any given moment does help beyond anything I could truly put into words. It doesn't make things 'better' but it does make it a little easier.

I understand that Mother's day is a difficult event for so many - just as are other days/anniversaries for others - no matter why or how this affects some it is a shared sense of knowing that it DOES affect some that is important - not even knowing why. The why of some things aren't as important as the knowledge of what is happening for each individual - we do not need to know everyones 'life stories' to be able to empathise with their feelings.