Am Not Coping

@CheerBear

Thanks @CheerBear .... ❤️💕

Phi again @Mazarita ... 👋

So so glad you are keeping your painting ticking over @Zoe7 .... 💚💕

WH's regimen provides respite across the days that he is here as well .... he is staying up to an hour at his mum's in the middle of his 2 x jogs a day, and time in the gym, and he isolates himself in his office for large chunks of the day, eating in there. He also goes out shopping for his food supplies, medicines and supplements, takes his mum out to a European supermarket, visits his brothers without mentioning it to me .... so there is quite a lot of space there too .... but there is an uneasiness and sense of vigilance cos you don't know when there's gonna be a tanty, and over what in the moment.

It's doable .... 💕

Doable but not ideal @Faith-and-Hope ... ...but it is what it is hey

I think vigilance should be our middle name lol - always needing to be aware of everything going on around us and having to try and predict every possible outcome. It feels a bit like trying to navigate the waves in a boat but without any oars - where will the waves take you and can you paddle your way around and back to some semblance of safety! ...and inbetween we need to remember to breathe...!!!

Felt a bit like I was channelling F&H there @Faith-and-Hope lol

Hi @Zoe7

I give myself permission to sleep whenever I want to most of the time - I had an injection for my back pain last night - and when I got back - after my busy day - I went to sleep for a long time - and then I was awake for quite a long time getting things done that I really needed to have done earlier - and then slept in - and so at least my house it tidy - and I felt okay about going back to sleep when I watched a bit of what I had recorded last night - so I can still watch that again if I want to

@Faith-and-Hope

Boy - WH's regime sounds as if it really fills his day - does he feel at all strange that he does this or is it all perfectly normal to him? I know you are waiting for the first shoe to fall

It sound as if you are living in a strange world - you do have faith and hope - I keep thinking of you and praying for you - my pink flowers have started blooming for the winter and I always think of you when I see them

Dec

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

Can I find any pink flowers?

Oh yes - guess what - this is one of the pics you posted

I know what you are living through is something you have chosen to do - but being morally inferior to WH's estimation is not at all good - I do understand this because you posted so much about this last year and I looked a lot up on the subject

Of course - the rest of us see this as strange - but he doesn't - I guess you have our support - you have mine anyway

Lots of best wishes Faith

Dec

💢💢💢💢

hello @Faith-and-Hope

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@Faith-and-Hope wrote:
Thanks @Owlunar .... you have some wonderful turns of phrase .... "waiting for the first show to fall" ..... that puts it into a nutshell rather well .....

No .... rather than strange, WH feel superior in his chosen way of life, like a poster-boy for making a successful lifestyle change from a disaster to the absolute ideal ..... like "everybody wants to be me .... !" is going through his head ..... "everyone except my wife who is jealous of and unsupportive of my success" ......

🤗💕 re the pink flowers ....

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I have followed your story sitting in the back row. I think that you have been working on keeping your family together overall; curtailing the egotistical whim of WH and his ongoing self care.

This is healthy from the point of view that you are not making excuses for him, you are not in denial, you are fully aware of what is going on with his journey.

I sense that you are very grounded and are a classic earth mother; your loving arms encircling all.

As you would say to others, I do hope that you are having as much care as everyone else in the family.

I say this to you as this is what I am having to say to myself in the now.

Please know that I mean this with the warmest of feelings as I believe that you give so much to others.

besides now that I know that you are canadian born........only joshing.