Am Not Coping

Just so you know @Former-Member I think you are amazing - working full time even though you didn't want to, raising your kids under extremely difficult circumstances, having to deal with trauma etc. and supporting people on here when you are in such a horrible position yourself - truly inspiring to me - really wanted you to know that

lol @Former-Member run - but accept!!!

Hugs and love

and huge thanks...

Zoe

Hi @Zoe7 and all, just woke up after a few hours sleep tonight already. Wow, I've slept a huge amount over the past two days, getting away from my woes. Thought I'd wander in to The Octagonal Room for a visit to see if anyone else is still awake. And, of course, to give little Alice a pat and cuddle. Feeling a bit less stressed right now about the housing troubles that have suddenly arisen here. Probably because it's late at night and that can't hurt me for now. Oh, Night, how I do love thee!

Morning @Mazarita I hope you got back to sleep last night Maz

You and I certainly have completely opposing views of the night We certainly do tend to want to sleep alot when we have stuff to deal with that is difficult - sleep can really be our friend - whatever helpsus get through hey!

I hope you have a more settled day today and you find a lot of light in your day.

Zoe

@Former-Member and @utopia thankyou so much for last night - it helped me more than you could imagine

@Faith-and-Hope Thankyou also for checking in to let me know that you were busy - you really didn't have to do that - but it was very sweet that you took the time to do so That really shows your true character - and it is very much appreciated

@CheerBear This is a very special good morning just for you. I hope that today the light shines upon you, brightens up your day and you can find some peace. If you need - there is always a safe place, with plenty of licorice and gelato - in your lime green corner in the Octagonal Room. Use your beautiful rainbow path from the nest and slide right into one of those soft white clouds, then step into your corner - no need to talk - just BE. Sending you a very special big hug today CB... and all my love, Zoe

Morning @Zoe7 ....🤗💕 and anyone else who is around .....

Sleep tally for me - 6 hours ... that will do but I will try for a kip in the afternoon. The extra couple of hours can make a real difference ....

I picked up my big canvas yesterday for the competition painting .... ❣

Still trying to get motivated to finish the tree image I started down south, but WH has plunked the rotisserie he borrowed for Easter in the middle of the car port area D3 and I were painting in, so It's feeling as cluttered and imposed upon as the loft storage area that is supposed to be my studio space .... grrrr ....

If I fee I have enough energy this afternoon Iwill move all of that to the sheltered outdoor area near our bedroom and finish that painting there, rather than putting up with what he has done. It's where I will be working on the competition painting anyway.

I'll see how I go. WH is already planning to go back over east in a couple of weeks, probably for a couple of weeks ... he is creating a pattern of leaving immediately after the next round of significant family events (twins birthday and Mothers Day) and returning just in time for the next one (D3 birthday) ...

Any thoughts towards your own paintings at the moment @Zoe7 ?

Good morning, @Zoe7. Seems we both use sleep as a method of coping. I find it helps a fair bit at times of high stress, despite it not being 'recommended' as a way to manage things. I slept about 20 hours a day for many months at one point in my life. It seemed the only way I could survive what was happening at that time. And look, here I still am! So, yes, sleep is my friend, though I can't always get it when I want it.

I did get back to sleep last night after some time. I will probably go back to sleep again before too long as well. Later, I might go for a walk. Just now I'm giving myself lots of permission to do whatever feels helpful, whether 'recommended' or not. Letting my natural instincts take over and lead the way. So far, they have led me into lots of sleep and, from there, to a less stressed place this morning. I'm still very worried about the housing problem but not so completely weirded out and nervously wired up about it as I was.

Hope you have some surprisingly sweet moments in this day.

My sleep tally for last night amounts to 1 and a half hours @Faith-and-Hope I had to be up really early to go to the airport and I had a fair bit on my mind last night so I couldn't sleep earlier - thems the breaks!!

I really hope you can get you painting space sorted - so frustrating having your 'supposed' space being filled with 'stuff' (and any other space you try to create for yourself). I really feel for you F&H - so not fair!

I know WH being away gives you a little more headspace but it is the 'not knowing' in between and adjusting your days as is needed to accomodate where he is at that is very draining on you - I really do not know how you continue to do it - so much admiration for how positive you continue to be despite all that you endure

I have done a little more on the butterfly girl painting. I have completely changed the background - added a little colour (yes it is more positive). I am still working on it - a little a time when I am in the right 'headspace'. The stepping stone image is still a work in progress as well.

I am about to start a new painting - this one is for my sister. She has an idea of what she would like, I need to measure the space she wants to put it in so I can get the appropriate sized canvas for her. This one will be a little different to what I usually do - definitely a lot brighter lol I am hoping to have it done for her birthday in May.

Hiya @Mazarita I just had one of those sweet moments today - thanks to you

Sleep can solve everything - if you can get it that is lol I've gone through times like that also - when I sleep more than I am awake, and when I am awake all I want to do is sleep again. My GP only recently 'gave me permission' to sleep whenever I needed to - that is actually a relief as I often feel like I am wasting my life away even though I know it is the only thing that helps at the time.

I am pleased to hear that you are less worried about the house situation - I suppose it is a case of you can't change what is happening and you just need to navigate your way around the situation the best way you can - it still sucks though!!!

Do what you need to do to look after yourself Maz - you know what is right for you in these moments so just go with it. I'll walk beside you if you need

Hope your day is filled with light..

Zoe