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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I agree @Zoe7 .... but I find "touchstones" really help to pull me back out of that more .... these are special things in the here and now that have a volume of positive association .... that's what you are doing when you cuddle Toby.

Find others, and plant them in your environment - art posters, wearing your favourite colour, beautiful piano music, "silk" flowers, perumed-oil-air-freshener scents, shells in a vase, wind chimes, etc ..,,.

Invest in the positive. It is powerful, and can overwrite the negative things, bit by bit, like colouring in, or piecing together a jigsaw puzzle ....

It's what I do. For any negative thing in my day, I try to out-do it x5 with positivity. I have found an artistic clothing brand that I buy, usually heavily discounted cos it's pricey, but it is what I would design if I were into clothing design, and I wrap myself up in this stuff, like an invisibility cloak. It brings me joy, so I water it, in my situation, like armour.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I was finding my beach visits with Toby were really helping to find some positivity where there was very little. I can't physically manage those atm - both the driving and walking. My poor concentration and lethargy are certainly having a detrimental effect on my thinking but I am keeping my head above water through this and that is a positive in itself. That is another reason I have been on and off here - it has been too overwhelming to keep my own mind 'in a box' that I can deal with, without any further external 'issues' adding to that space. I can deal with, cope with and support those here who I am closest to - that is easy because they are also the people that I can turn to to support me when I need it - but I am still very aware that at any moment there could be something 'pop up' that I don't have room in my head to deal with - still struggling with the need to be connected and maintain the relationships that are important to me on here whilst being vulnerable to triggers.

One little stepping stone at a time - sometimes the rain washes over them and I need to wait for then to re-emererge out of the water to move forward @Faith-and-Hope and not slip - but I know they are still there and when the sun shines it's rays upon them again, the path will be dry and illuminated once more

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Off to my appointment now @Zoe7. Thank you for your company this morning. I'm glad we're neighbours 🙂 . Good luck for the rest of the day if I don't bump into you before then. Take care of you and thinking of you 💗

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Goodluck at your appointment @CheerBear

I am so pleased we are neighbours too - knowing that there is a friendly 'face' next door makes me smile

I'll be thinking of you too CB - hope you have some light in your day

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Super special delivery to our new neighbour @CheerBear in her amazing nest

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

😮 oh my thank you @Zoe7! I was looking for some new flowers earlier! And that bear is going straight on top of the pillow pile where I'm currently sitting in a ball. And gelato - so good! Thank you 💛

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I thought you could do with some of your favourite things surrounding you today @CheerBear

How did your appointment go?

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

It didn't go well but I'm hoping that's more just a feeling right now and once it passes I'll feel better about it @Zoe7. Thanks for asking though.

Guess where you are zoe? You're on a walk to het LF. It's weird weather right now. Kind of balmy. We might need umbrellas soon!

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I hope it went better than you feel too @CheerBear

I'm just getting ready to go out myself - GP and chemist - as usual!!!

It has got really dark here in the last hour and I think the rain is well on it's way again - so umbrellas needed all around This weather certainly doesn't help with my mood arghhh....

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Thanks @Zoe7 and I hope your afternoon goes well. 😞 bummer re the rain with you too. Looks like we're in the same boat on this one too.

Off to play hairdressers for a while. I have colours!

💛
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