Am Not Coping

@Zoe7 You could take the 2 months as sabbatical .. or respite .. think of it in the most helpful way for you. At least your GP is taking your needs seriously and putting things in place properly.

I am glad you managed to get your art supplies and had help. People do value you ..

It is good you are still posting on the forum.

Maybe as you develop a routine for the next few months your art will be healing and productive.

Hi @Zoe7

I am glad you have another 8 weeks off work - it must be stressful financially - but you need the time to reflect and get your life into some kind of workable order and that seems to be really hard atm

I'm so sorry about that - it must be like trying to clean up a vine filled garden - as fast as you cut it back the faster it grows - and you are not sleeping well - that is the major source of healing - good sleep and it can be so hard to get at times

About your art supplies - I have so many packets of pencils I have bought when I have been away for a few days - they are very basic colours and very cheap - I wish there was a magic way of sending them to you - I do a strange kind of art work - sort of coloured doodles - I am not at all skillful but fiddling around with the colours seems to help

Even doodling with a black or grey lead pencil as someone suggested is a good idea

However you are feeling today it seems you are a little better than you were a few days ago -

Lots of hugs and I hope my hunch about your feelings is right

Dec

Guess who ..... ?! 😏

It's Wintersun Cat .... lazing in the window this morning ....

@Faith-and-Hope @utopia @Decadian @Appleblossom @BlueBay @Former-Member

I cried myself to sleep again Woke up about 1:30am feeling really sick and stil lhad a huge headache but didn't take anything - too worried I'd take too much and not remember. Slept on and off until about 6 - as best I could with how I was feeling. Still not good but I got through the night! Now I just need to get through today.

My GP is going to call me later and then I see her again tomorrow.

I can't make any plans or think about the next few days/weeks/months until I have my income situation sorted. My GP is trying to move that along for me because of the situation I'm in and she knows how stressful the whole process is being for me.

I can't see my psychologist until this is all sorted.

Yesterday's appointment is still playing over and over in my mind. I am very scared for where I'm heading and just can't think clearly at the moment.I really just want this all to be sorted and without me having to go into hospital. I really would not cope with that!

@utopia Are you not working today?

We tried the Community Mental Health Team before christmas. They weren't at all helpful - infact were very NOT helpful. At first they said it wouldn't be until after the new year that they could help. Then my GP pushed the urgency with them (as we all know she can by now). They called me the next day and the person on the phone was quite abrupt and somewhat rude (and also male which I could not deal with at the time). I asked quite respectfully if I could speak to someone else and they were going to ask someone to call me back the next day - never heard back! I know there are huge problems in regards to where they work as their building was burnt down around a few days before this call and alot of their records were destroyed also - the whole system is in a bit of chaos at the moment - and I just don't trust them!

Cat is good - she's such a little sweetheart! Toby has to go back to the vet - his little paw is not looking good. I'm pretty sure it's another grass seed. I have managed to get an appointment tomorrow for him with his regular vet (she has been on leave but is back tomorrow). I am hoping we can defer payment until I can afford it. She is a partner in the business so is able to do this - and has offered to let me pay over time before when the bills have been really high. I've never had to do it before but I don't have a choice now - my little boy needs to be seen and his paw fixed.

I can't be bothered cleaning anything up either. Haven't washed my floorboards for weeks. Tried to vacuum the rugs the other day and was too tired to finish - vacuum cleaner is still sitting in the middle of the dining room!!!

I really hate the mess and the chaos - probably isn't helping my mood but just don't have the energy to do anything. Going to work and then my appointment yesterday has really exhausted me - too much in one day!

Hope your toothache can be seen to quickly and you can get some relief from it. Have you heard back from any of the dental services yet?

No hugs for dogs if they are still muddy - just a pat on the head from me.

Hugs to you though