Am Not Coping

That's awesome with your GP, @Zoe7. I hope the medications help to some extent too. One of the (perhaps controversial) things I think is that pain management in itself is really important with conditions like ours. I have the best relation of all with my psychiatrist but my GP is great too (been seeing her for 9 years). I think who the doctor/counsellor is as a person may be the most important thing. Training and specialist knowledge may be more like icing on the cake. Having said that, I do like to be monitored for medications by a psychiatrist, partly because they are the specialists in it.

I have just started seeing a psychiatrist. It took 5 months to get an appointment. I have only had one session with her, and although she did ask some hard questions and I left feeling very distressed at the time, I did feel comfortable with her. She did recognise when the questions were too much and pulled back so that shows me she is very 'switched on'.

I have only been seeing my GP for 6 months - basically since I got sick last year. My regular GP of over 20 years was away sick herself and I was feeling so unwell that I asked for anyone (as long as they were female). My current GP is who I saw - I had never seen her before. She called an ambulance and sent me straight to hospital - I don't even know how I managed to drive there because I couldn't even stand up! She moved clinics soon after and I stayed with her. It actually worked out better forme as the clininc she moved to is literally 2 minutes away.The staff at this clinic are all really lovely - and I know I get preferential treatment sometimes. I also can contact my GP at any time if I need to (day or night) - and she has assured me that she won't call an ambulance if I am not 'ok' but she would turn up on my doorstep instead - and I think she probably would if she was concerned!! She really has been my number 1 support these last 6 months - and I know I would not still be here talking to you @Mazarita if I didn't have her (and the forum) in my life.

She is a dedicated doctor, @Zoe7. You are lucky indeed and I'm really glad to know you have that real life support. Sounds like it might be okay with the psychiatrist. Sometimes okay is good enough. A psychiatrist I saw for a while was of not much value to me as a counsellor but he helped me in a big, very practical way (helped me secure disability). The one I see now is a good counsellor and also has the medications better than they've ever been. Even if there's been some things negative about some doctors or therapists I've had, I've usually had some help from most of them too. Also, with psychiatry, I find that the first two sessions can be hardgoing because they are essentially taking a history. Most of them after that, in my experience, have been much more focussed on the present.

@Mazarita I was under the impression that the psychiatrist had been 'informed' of much of my history - but it was only the 'basics' from my GP. It would be valuable for my psychologist to also pass on some additional information as it took a lot to get anything out of me at all and I am not doing that again.

I do really like my psychologist - it is just too much for me to deal with now that she has got so much 'out of me'. I have never really 'talked' about much myself - she is great at asking questions and knowing the answers from either my non-verbal responses or a simple yes or no. I have been able to write a little to give to her but not in great depth or detail.

Even my new psychiatrist commented on how great my GP seemed to be. She certainly has been right by my side all the way. When she was seeing me every day she would also call or text me a couple of times on the weekend to see how I was.

It seems like they are both on the right track with the meds - just a little way still to go with dosages and times that will be of the most benefit. They will help me get through each day a little easier but, as I said before, they won't change how I think.

The one thing that has allowed me to even get this far is being able to throw myself into work - some days literally all day and night - and not having that at the moment is certainly not helping. In saying that I do know that I am not fit to work atm and I am not sure if I can go back at all. That is just another thing to try and deal with on top of everything else.

@Zoe7, what sort of work were you doing? You also make art, I think. Creativity has been an absolute lifeline for me, even if it's also been a struggle at times. I distract myself a lot with creative things on the computer. Some might call it escapism but I engage with a lot of creativity in an interactive way. I love what the 21st century has brought to us in some avenues of communication. Other parts of it, not so great. But used well, it's such a blessing. With creativity, I cope okay with not working any more. But I probably never really found the right niche in the workforce either. Except for one part-time job I had for five years, quite some time ago.

@Mazarita Teacher - upper primary for the last 10 years but I did work in with the higher grades 7-12 before that. I do much prefer thew younger grades though. I also taught art for one day a week last year - that was my favourite day of the week

Before teaching I had a few different jobs - all part-time. Sometimes I would work the equivalent of 2 full-time jobs in one day - and get very little pay for it either!!! Most days I would go from my research job to my crisis support job - that was nearly always the night shift when it was the busiest. It suited me because I didn't sleep much anyway.

All interesting work experiences, @Zoe7. Would like to hear (and see) more about your creativity, over time. The longest I was able to sustain a full-time job in my life was nine months when I was 17. I got very sick young (around that same time) with crohns disease. That treats me a lot better these days than when I was younger, it was terribly painful then, every day for long periods of time. I think it's from those days that I have learned a healthy respect for pain relief as a necessary part of treatment for some human issues. Most of my life I've worked casual, temporary or part time jobs. Some typing, secretarial, admin, some hospitality and some arts related. I know the story of little pay!

Just doing a fly-by @Zoe7 cos I'm trying to get my butt out for a quick walk .... but I have been saving this for you ....

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Hi Mazarita ... 💕

There are some things I would love to post that I have done with the kids over the years but I would have to be very selective (and a little creative lol) with what I post @Mazarita I have talked to @Faith-and-Hope about our large animals that we have made but I do think they would be too recognisable to post - they are life size so do not go un-noticed wherever we have taken them. There have been a lot of 'out-of-school' events that I have got the kids involved in and so much of what I have done with them has been widely seen. That part of the job I do really miss - and I know the kids don't have anyone else doing anything even remotely similar. It is a shame because they do get really involved - and so do the parents.

Oh dear - Crohn's Disease - I do feel for you. I have IBS - and that is painful enough - couldn't image how bad it can be for you

Apart from teaching, the crisis support job was my most fulfilling - but incredibly hard at the same time. Depending on the shift I was rostered on for it was either crisis intake and counselling or child support - in a DV shelter. The day shifts were usually child support and they were often a little easier. The night shifts were when we would get the most urgent call-outs - as you would probably expect - and you usually worked alone as well - so you had a lot going on at once. Co-ordinating with emergency services for meetings and pick-ups were the most crucial then the immediate assessment of needs directly afterwards had to be done super quickly. It was a tough job but one that kind of become 'routine' as well - just like any job really after a while. It certainly wasn't the type of work you could do full-time for a long time without needed a break from it though.