Am Not Coping

I have had to shut it out for the last few months to get through @Lee82 and I was really holding out for the memorial to help with those feelings but it has done the opposite - just feel even more at sea now. On top of that I have so much to get done for school and sleep has been hit and miss. Just gotta keep swimming.

Hello @Zoe7

Trying to catch up and say hello as I haven't been around much I'm sorry.

I'm sorry to hear about your friends sister's flight and her then not making it on time. Devastating for both of you. I'm also sad that you were alone at the service, I'm glad darling Tobes looked after you. ✔️🐕❤️

Am I allowed to say HBD 🎁💝 in code?

Hope so. A kitten one day when the time is right sounds lovely x

I'm pleased to hear your Mum has improved, that is good news Zoe.

Will you get some rest at all this weekend? What day is your last? So close now.

Love and hugs ❤️

I am so terribly sorry @Zoe7 my meds kick my butt last night and I fell asleep in the middle of writing you a response back. I feel awful for doing that.
I get that babe. You have suppressed your emotions for so long that now you feel like they are starting to seep out now and I get that the memorial was suppose to be your time to grieve. Just a suggestion but what if you hold your own memorial or perhaps write a letter to him then burn it as a symbol of saying goodbye.
Only a couple more days to go babe then you can 100% look after you and do some much needed self care.
love you babe. Sending you gentle hugs ❤️💜💙

@Lee82 I have done a few of those things already - I have his photo in a special place and began writing that letter ...that I found too hard. I do know once school is over I will most likely 'fall apart' for a while - but I will have the time to work through things also.

@Anastasia Friday is our last day but Thursday the last day with the kids. I am so tired today that all I can do is a little of the work I need then sleep in between. I have to go to the supermarket at some stage but that can wait until later.

Thanks fot the quiet wishes - not up for celebrating anything at present but my family made yesterday special in what they did for me. Mum wrote a beautiful card with special memories she had of me over the years and my sister had some beautiful ballons and a cake with candles. She bought a butterfly balloon but put a hole in it whilst blowing it up - I have taped it back together and am going to put it up on my wall. We are going to get together sometime in the holidays when everyone is less busy and my Mum is better - that would be the best present ...for my Mum to be better and capable of doing the things she loves again - she is improving so hoping that is not too far off.

I know right now I am not in the place to get a new kitten - I am also conscious of the effect that might have on Cat so until we have her next ultrasound and find out if the cancer is under control or not I could not stress her out at all - she is too important to me. There is also the ongoing costs of a new addition to our family that I need to consider so giving me more time to get through Christmas and begin to save a little again is also a consideration. As you could probably imagine - my fur babies are extremely spoilt so I would need savings to do the same with a new kitten ...lots to think about .

@Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope

Hoping your days are going ok

💜💜

Finished the grocery shopping but still have to put most of it away @Faith-and-Hope @Snowie @Anastasia @Lee82 @Former-Member Have another class's work finshed and about to start the next class - should be able to get 2 more done today and then leave one overnight to dry ...that will leave 4 to get done over the next few days (before Thursday) - that is do-able 👍

Been watching a tv series online whilst I do it so it has also been a little relaxing. Tobes and Cat are outside in the sun enjoying the beautiful day. If I joined them I would be asleep in minutes lol

You are kicking goals @Zoe7

A few more things ticked of your list.

Sounds like you are been busy but glad you are able to get done what you need.

💕💕

Navigating the exhaustion and a headache @Snowie so can only do a little at a time ...but yes getting there. Just about to have more pain relief to try to get on top of the headache before it gets bad again - it is likely from lack of sleep combined with a sore back and neck so hoping the pain relief helps all areas.

Tobes must have found it too warm outside because he is now inside spread out on the cooler floorboards - he is soooo cute 🐶 Cat is asleep under a tree so I do not expect her to move until feeding time now. She loves the warmer weather and being outside so today is a perfect day for her 😺

How is your fur bay? ...and how are you?

Hoping the pain relief helps hun @Zoe7 and your headache doesn't get any worse.

Tobes and Cat sound quite comfortable.

Izzy is on the couch asleep. She must be having little dog dreams!!

I am going ok today. Have to pick D up from work soon and take her to a friends house. Other then that just been doing some housework.

Fitting in little bits of housework here too @Snowie Got most of the washing already done - one load to go then that is all done - ran out of washing powder so couldn't do it earlier.

I love it when our fur babies have puppy dreams - they make cute little sounds. Tobes often makes little woofy sounds and the occasional bark in his sleep ...usually in the middle of the night when I am asleep - certainly wakes me up quickly

So good to hear you are having a better day Hon - savour that when it happens