Am Not Coping

Hi @Faith-and-Hope

I so often wonder how you manage with so many children - even if they are adults - ahd EH's ED - that seems to be a lot to deal with - just the ed on its own - wow!!

So it seems to be slipping - does this mean that he has noticed his gaunt appearance or are things falling apart - eg the unpaid water bill and the un-collated paper work? How long can he keep going?

Next Thursday I will have been here a year - wow - a year that went past so quickly - and your WH was wonky then - so he must have been battling - and I recall that before you went overseas he had trouble with his vision. We all thought that he was starting to have a little insight into his condition then - or at least I did - but no - and it must be such a strain on you.

I lost touch with everyone while I was away - and I have had the sleepies since I got back - it must be the change in the weather - did I ever pick the best week to go away - or maybe it was because I walked for miles everyday while I was away - I don't mind sleeping but I have missed out on a lot here.

And that near-miss your D1 and her husband had - that would be scary and rattle the bones

I sure hope you are okay - you have faith to move mountains obviously and I hope WH can see that his plan isn't serving him well

All the best Faith - you are a champion

Dec

@Faith-and-Hope It is often those 'little' things however that really take hold and cause us to become overwhelmed or to struggle - most likely because we don't see them coming and it becomes harder to deal with the 'big' issues.

It is baby steps with D3 recognising the 'control' issues - as you have eluded to - it takes time to reshape an emotionally learnt behaviour that has developed over an entire lifetime. So strong of you to name it up so simply and not take on that attitude - what a fantastic mother (you own mother would be so proud of you).

I'm probably going to make your eyes water slightly here but I am going to post this to you anyway:

This song is very close to my heart - I can relate to so much of it - I have only every 'given' this to one other person - who is also very special to me - now I want you to have it also - my guardian angel!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SiylvmFI_8

Hi @Zoe7

I love that song - I love that movie to - City of Angels

In some cases that second chance can never come again - and that is hard - but if we want another chance we can look around for another person and try again - and I have done this - done something differently - done something better

One thing about time is that it brings different possibilities - we do not have to be trapped in the past and our mistakes -

I think @Faith-and-Hope is a fantastic mother too - and her third daughter has been watching her dad's controlling behaviour so this will not be easy for her - for either D3 or Faith - but we can all learn

I am so out of touch - I'm sorry - but I have no idea where you are in the grand plan right now

All the best

Dec

Oh @Owlunar I am right at the bottom of the well atm - it has beyond tough the past few weeks - really struggling with myself and some things I can't talk about here - making it incredibly hard. My beautiful friends here are around me and it does make a little difference knowing that everyone is here - but still stuck in my present situation and trying to find some light

Thank you @Zoe7. It is a beautiful song that has meant a lot to me, and it is so, so special that you chose to share it with me .... it will be my "Zoe song" too now ....

Happy tears .... ❤️💕

@Owlunar . thank you for your concern and understanding.

I think somewhere inside WH wil be aware that he is not well, but is backing that thought with all his might, and pushing against that reality. What he wants to view as an outstanding successful life change has become his world, his calling card, his example to others, and he has been revered for it by his mother especially.

To come to terms with the fact that he over-shot the success stage and succumbed to a new and different form of eating disorder will be an incredibly crushing blow when something brings it front and centre to his attention .... and I am sure it doesn't take much to imagine how humiliating that is going to be if it is a very public revelation.

None of us have any control over that at the moment though .... and the potential to drive oneself batty with "what if" scenarios is monumental .... so I try not to go there ... but a sensible person will also try to plan ahead .... and this is also part of the incongruency .... we can only be sensible about the here and now because the rest of it is so totally beyond us.

WH was given an explanation regarding his eye that suits his mindset ... sot hat is a dead end at the moment ... and it turns out that the eye doctor is into extreme athleticism too .... so if anything that has just added fuel to the fire ....

I end up with this expression a lot .... :face_with_rolling_eyes::face_with_rolling_eyes::face_with_rolling_eyes: .... and if I am not careful the wind will change and I will be stipuck like this for the rest of my life ... lol ....

😂

Let's hope that if the wind does change the 'butterflies' that surround you can help you to spread your Guardian Angel wings and fly through it @Faith-and-Hope

That's a great release for you then @Pepsimax - certainly haven't upset me - have been thinking of you but not able to provide support myself. I hope today is much better for you

That will be good @Pepsimax - something to look forward to