Am Not Coping

So good to see you back here @mudsum and really feel for you with the thoughts and urges. It is never easy when we are not coping - the world seems that much harder around us and any little thing seems massive when we are in that state. Sorry I wasn't around last night when you were here but very much hoping today is a little easier for you. Let us know how you are today if you check in. Here are listening

Yes today is Cat's operation day @mudsum I will be leaving soon to take her in. Her vet is really good so I know she will be in great care and just hoping for the best for my little girl. Thank you for the kind thoughts - they are very much appreciated today

Sleep can certainly help us get through the days especially when we have nothing else to fill our time or are not able to face the world. It is not the ideal state to be in but sometimes we need to do whatever helps to cope with our lives - totally get that Hon.

I also understand how much the past affects us in the present. So much of who we are now is shaped by what we have been through - and whilst that can make us stronger it can also affect how we see ourselves and what we think we can achieve. I believe we all underestimate just how worthy and courageous we are ...to get through so much and continue on in whatever form that takes is strength and courage within itself - and each one of us are certainly worthwhile and courageous in both facing each and every day as well as finding ways forward. The past shapes us but does not need to define us @mudsum so sending you courage and strength to get through what you are still dealing with Hon

@Zoe7 @mudsum @Teej 💕💜💕💜

Thank you @Maggie @outlander @MDT Cat is at the vet so now the waiting and extra hoping begins. It is a big op and will take some time so not expecting to hear anything for a few hours. Going to take Toby for a drive to the tip to unload the trailer - something productive I can do to keep going this morning.

Goodluck with you teeth today @outlander I know the relief I felt when mine were finally out - it does make a world of difference.

@Zoe7 @outlander @MDT @mudsum @Faith-and-Hope @Teej

@Zoe7

Thinking of you and hoping all is as well as is can be 💕

It has been a difficult and almost surreal few weeks. In the last week I have been faced with the devastating news of Cat's cancer - the uncertainty of it's progression and how much time I have with her. My sister putting in an offer for a house a lot further away which has both been accepted and the finance through for - so she will be moving by the end of the year. My mum and dad also had one of their horses die after giving birth to a new foal - it was also touch and go with the foal but he is now doing really well now. I started back at work last week knowing that will be my last term at such a wonderful school so the very real sadness that I have felt for that has also affected me. Yesterday would have been my Nan's birthday but I no longer have my best friend with me and although it has been a long time since she passed every day without her is another day I miss her. That then brings me to thinking about my pop as well and the fact I have never - and will never - get over finding him. ...and I am feeling so heartsore for a friend I want to be there for but can only write words here. There is nothing right now that I would want more than being able to hold her, comfort her, listen to her and let her know it will be okay ...and not being able to do that is breaking my heart. Sometimes we are constrained by the reality of life but honestly, right now, that just sucks. For all those out there that can make a difference in someone's life by being present and available - do not hold back ...it matters. ....and for all those out there that hold someone so close to their hearts that it hurts when they are hurting - let them know how loved they are - because in this crazy world that is often all we have to hold onto and all we have to give to help someone else get through the day.