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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I wish I had an easy answer for you @Zoe7

Talking about the impact(s) that it's having on you is a start. I think this is important because I think this may have many layers and it could be different from individual to individual. This may include how view the world more broadly, and how your interact with people on the Forums.

For coping on the Forums, I think starting with knowing and reminding yourself that:

  • These things happen rarely on here
  • Most of your interactions on here have been positive. Try not to let this incident define your whole experience on here
  • There are guidelines and moderators on here (like now) who try and keep the community safe.
  • There are systems in place if you do feel unsafe (e.g., report inappropriate content). Us moderators are only an email or '@' mention away.

@Zoe7, I'm just about to finish up now as it's the end of my shift. I'm super exhuasted and not sure I'm making much sense now. But I'm going to mention @NikNik so she can follow up with you tomorrow via email tomorrow. Both her and I were working together that day so she is aware of what happened on this day. Do you feel ok to touch base about it tomorrow, @Zoe7?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Thanks @CherryBomb I do need to be able to follow this up - I shouldn't have let it get this far but I really didn't know what to do or what to say. Get some rest Cherry.

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Ok @Zoe7 i dont actually know whats going on and havent read the convo youve been having as i find thats prob intruding but that last comment that cherrybomb caught my eye so i have to ask.. are you safe...? Can you keep yourself safe tonight?
And just going off the last comment obviously something you read was very triggering for you. Kinda got the gist with the little bits she said but just know that whatever happens it isnt your fault. You cant control what people do really although i wish alot of the time i wish we could. But i know that it can be very distressing for alot of people tp read things that have happened to them or find it hard to deal with the content
Just know that tje moderators do have a plan in place thay we dont often see as its behind the scenes stuff to deal with alot od these things including acess to police and police can locate people id need be.
Hopefully this puts your mind at ease just abit?
Im still herr to talk if you want to as well if not maybe you could talk to the next online moderator..?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Yeah, it's important that you be able to folllow this up. You don't need to sit with this all on you own. I've emailed NikNik as well letting her know about this. She'll be around tomorrow afternoon. But feel free to email us at team@saneforums.org if you want to write down your thoughts beforehand.

Please continue using the forums for support if you feel comfortable to in the meant ime. And of course, if things get too much, don't hestitate to contact emergency services.

Goodnight

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Goodgnight @CherryBomb and thankyou

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Former-Member Are you still around?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Yeah @Zoe7 i am. I'm sorry it's all still coming up for you. here for you💜🤗

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Former-Member How are you doing?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I'm holding my own at the moment. It's always hard when I come home because I feel lost but I'm trying to move forward. @Zoe7. Thinking we may need a sea plane to come and sweep us up and fly us to some lovely location and put things behind us for a bit.

Sometimes fantasy helps 😘

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

That sounds like a great idea - if only!!!! @Former-Member

I am really struggling with everything. I was starting to feel things were looking up then - out of the blue - something really confroting happened and now I've gone dowwnhill again. I just want it to all stop because it really is getting too hard. I know you know how that feels Teej.

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