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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I personally think it is a good option for you @Snowie considering this has been going on for you for some time now and we both know how hard it has been to get through some days. You made it to the family holiday and seem to actually had a good time - your kids certainly seem to and that is what you wanted for them - now time to look after you too Hon.

@Boonana Doesn't take me long to go to the shop - it is pretty close - so back now

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

hugs @Boonana

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7 have you been sexually harassed?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

My history in that regard is a bit more complex than that Hon - lots of abuse in my past so sexual harassment is just one very small component of that @Boonana So yes I do know how hard it is to deal with but those flashbacks you are having but you are safe now and that is important to know.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Do you ever get scared it will happen again? I always do.. that’s part of my social anxiety.. I don’t want to be touched like that ever 😩 most times just going out in public I get scared I’ll be abused. How do you deal with it @Zoe7?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I have had a lot of help to put strategies in place to be able to deal with it the best I can @Boonana There are still times that I feel that fear but on the whole now I can leave the past in the past. One of the most important things for me was to realise that I am infact safe now - those people in my past are far away from me and can only continue to do damage if I let them - that takes a lot of retraining your own brain - knowing that although the future is not certain, for now I am in a safe place where I feel comfortable being. It was by no means an easy road for me to get here though - it took a lot of therapy and changes in the way I looked at things. I guess for you it is also about finding that safe place where you can also work through some of those thoughts - it is not easy - I am not going to pretend it is - but it is possible to get a place where you find more peace within yourself and also within the world around you.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7 you don’t have to tell me this if you’re uncomfortable sharing but what strategies did you find helpful? Are there any that you think would be helpful for me?
It’s only been like a month from when he done it do me and I’m still quite traumatised..

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Have you spoken to your counsellor about this @Boonana? It is not something you need to go through on your own.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7 no I haven’t really told anyone about it.. it’s really embarrassing.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

It is not embarassing @Boonana It is unwanted attention and definitely something that you don't need to feel embarassed about. It is not okay Hon - please know that and you do not need to go through these feelings alone. It is something that you really should talk to your counsellor about and get some help to work through it. There is evidence that the sooner you deal with these things the easier it is to move forward from it so I would encourage you to bring it up with your counsellor as soon as you feel able to do so.

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