Am Not Coping

I do often snuggle next to Toby too but he is doing that door mat thing again @Boonana - all spread out and taking up half of the couch - so cute!

It will be good to be back with Eddie this afternoon - we all know here how precious our fur babies are to us so you are not alone in wanting some Eddie cuddles

Hugs @Former-Member .....💜💐💕

Youre a real sweetheart, there for everybody ❣️

There is so so much in my situation that makes my blood boil, and that is what has started to affect my own health in a physical way, whether I am coping emotionally or not ..... and when I realised that I increased my self-care and distraction activities in response ...... which is how I found the forums too .... and letting all the grrrrr out here is definitely one of my coping strategies.

Unfortunately, dealing with someone else who is ill this way, but doesn’t u derstand that they are, tends to start making their nearest and dearest ill too. Our problem is compounded by another one who is just as unwell, supporting this one with unhealthy-attachment issues crossing backwards and forwards between them. Ironic that that also causes one to cross the nation twice-weekly to uphold that level of interaction. One of the baby dragons commented dryly about it. It happening this week, despite being sooooo important “businesswise” for him to be over there every week ...... hmmmmm ...... changeable when he wants it to be.

What probably irks ne

most is that I don’t like things to sit in this sort of unhealthy holding pattern, but to challenge him risks a big bang that would bring the roof down on all our heads and ruin the kid’s recovery to date ...... 😔

I have had to go with the lesser evil, but it really sucks.

Then again, we are all here for super-sucky reasons, so apart from the occasional vent and support, on we go ..... finding humour and companionship amongst our tears ...... which is why this one is not an “Our Stories” thread in fact ...... it’s very much a Something’s Not Right thread that varies in its support and coping strategies.

This has actually been a long-term discussion in the background all across the forums. Trying to keep threads cleanly under topic discussion headings is not entirely possible, because of the nature of support and coping behaviours. They are not always what they seem ...... it’s often a laugh-or-cry way of trying to share or receive support for extremely painful and confronting issues and c/ptsd responses.

I hope I can gently say that, and then just lay it on the ground here to just sit for a while ...... perhaps it doesn’t need any more comment around it just now - not that I am in any way in charge of that. It’s just a suggestion that I hope works for everyone.

💜💐🌷💚🙏💕

I am very biased of course @Boonana but I do think Toby is the cutest dog ever 🐶 He gives me so much joy each day by just having him around and he does so many cute things that make me smile. I love when he does his mad night run around the house. He did that at my parents' house yesterday and everyone laughed - it was funny watching him run round and round the loungeroom then he jumped on the couch and fell asleep next to me. He slept all the way home in the car too so he was really tuckered out lol I felt a bit the same coming home and could quite easily have slept too.

Not much on today - watching the rugby this afternoon and going to get a little of the housework done. If I can get up enough energy I will give Toby a hair cut too but I have been putting that off for weeks so another day won't hurt.

I love that @Boonana ..... “turbo run” .... heehee ..... we had cats that did that when I was growing up. They would try to stop, slide across the floor (no carpet) and bump into the walls - not hurting themselves at all, but feeling indignant about their loss of dignity, so scampering straight to their feet and acting nonchalant, licking their paw and pretending it hasn’t happened ...... then taking off on another turbo run a few minutes later cos it wasn’t out of their system yet ......

So funny 😁

I have 2 respnses to your comments about where this thread 'belongs' @Faith-and-Hope and as you have brought it up now I feel it is appropriate to air my views here now.

My first issue here was the timing of such a change - it was extremely insensitive with what was already being dealt with and came straight after I openly asked for support to help me get through how incredibly sad and not really coping I was with the departure of Rockpool - not only was that really difficult for me to comprehend but the distinct lack of 'reading' the situation from those making the change was evident - and very much felt like a kick when I was already so down.

The second issue I had with this change was the obvious lack of consultation and even a personal 'heads-up' that this was on the cards. The change itself I also had issues with for very much the reasons you yourself have just mentioned. It has always been a thread that those who have not been coping with whatever they are dealing with have been able to come to and find so much support. Whilst I fully appreciate that a lot of the conversation here has been on a more positive note lately - especially with me going back to work and having some positive experiences there - it has still been a thread important to many to come to air/vent whenthey need to. All along the way we have been very ope to this being a thread for everyone - and I thinh we not only welcome everyone but openly encourage anyone needing support that they can come here to gain that. Unlike some threads that are more obviously more personal threads I think we have a real 'open-arms' policy on this one and I know I have made it very clear on more than one occasion that nobidy owns this thread and it is very much one for everyone to feel safe and heard.

So while there is very much a lot of 'me' (and you) here - there are also a lot of people that subscribe to this thread and post when they need that support - I would really hate for that to be changed - after all that is what the forum is about - a safe place to land and a supportive environment for everyone.

Zoomies - I love that @Boonana I just call it his mad minute when Toby does that but going to call it Zoomies from now in - love it