Am Not Coping

Thanks for the reply @MDT . I posted on your thread BTW. Since your message, I hope you’re in a better space. I’m thinking of you

Hey @Zoe7 from what I know I reckon you’ll be BRILLIANT in the support team - what a perfect fit for your abilities & situation! I’m really thrilled for you. It’s great you’ll save money on petrol & get home in the light in winter. Is this for an indefinite period? Did you get your vacuuming done & tools away? I’ve been succumbing a bit to the style of thinking that brings me down due to having a kid stay here who along with 3 other siblings has had the very best in education and extracurricular activities ($30000 per year) & a practical mother with stable mental health, so I have been trying to apply my ‘mantra’ & re-read your words. All the best for tomorrow @Zoe7 & if you’re not too tired please let us know how it goes. Hello @Former-Member @Maggie ! Have you had a reasonable day @Former-Member ?

Thanks for those kind words @Sam3 I hope it is a job that I can do - those self-doubts have been creeping in a bit today but I need to wait until I get there tomrrow and see how I cope. The placement is currently for terms 1 and 2 so I am not looking beyond that for now. I don't know the factors involved in it being extended - it may be that someone is on leave for those 2 terms or it may be extra money that the school has secured that only extends for that period - all I can do is do the job I have been given, hope I can cope with it and then that I like doing it and maybe it will be extended for the whole year - but as I said I don't know the circumstances of why this placement has come up so it is no use speculating for now.

I did get some of my tools moved but haven't done the vacuuming. Managed to get all the washing done and dry and put some things away. I am not going to push myself any further this evening though as I have done enough for today. Tomorrow is a big day and I need to make sure I take my meds early and get an early night.

Well done @Zoe7 re your washing dried & partly put away along with some of those tools I’d have no idea what to do with! Good idea to have an early night & probably for the rest of the week too! It’s also wise to avoid thinking past Term 2 & the specific circumstances of this vacancy (I had a 6 week locum that resulted in 3 years work BUT lots of angst each time a fortnight/month’s contract ended in terms of IF it would be renewed & my role changed a lot). As this forum testifies, self-doubt is common. Maybe you could briefly list your particular accomplishments (ie focus on those positives as you tell us!) to minimise self-doubt. For example, the times you’ve brought about observable changes in a specific child/s confidence & abilities (how long is thatblistvof names?!). Remember you’ve adapted to significant change before & you can do so again. You’ve worked hard for your physical & mental health recovery so there can’t be any self-doubt re your perseverance not resilience. I’m guessing you’re concerned about energy levels? Whilst we all doubt I’m hoping you can be confident in resting on your laurels.

I think a lot of the doubt right now comes with not really knowing what my role will be. I haven't met the Principal yet either so that is another thing that needs to happen tomorrow. I suppose then I will have more of an idea of what my actual role(s) within the school will be. I did meet the assistant Principal and she was really nice and welcoming but didn't really tell me much more than I would be joining the support team and what I have already mentioned earlier. I understand the role of taking a class full-time (or even part-time) and I have taken all grades before for Art but I did know the kids in each class then as I had been at the school for a long time. It will take me some time to get to know the kids - there are nearly 400 at this school so it is twice as big as the previous one I was at. I can only do what I can though and I presume I will get to know some of the kids and just as importantly the procedures they have in place thriughout the schools. I do think it will be a bit overwhelming to begin with but hoping there will be ongoing support to help me through the intial few weeks. The closer to tomorrow I get the more nervous I am feeling so hoping very much that I will be able to sleep tonight and also that I can get through tomorrow okay. Fingers crossed here.

Hey @Zoe7 Here’s information you may already know about support teams

I wish you all the very best for tomorrow @Zoe7 Hope the day goes well. Will be thinking if you. Xx

Thanks BB - it is going to be an adventure that is for sure but I am looking forward to it among the nerves. I'll let you know how it goes @BlueBay xxx

Thanks @Sam3 . I have been trying to keep busy today. A load of washing, changed bedding and towels this morning. And this arvo I dragged out my old sewing machine and did some clothing alterations. Hemming a pair of trousers, taking in a couple of skirts and dresses. Something Ive been putting off for months. So it pleases me immensely that its now all done. 😀

Please dont resort to making comparisons with other mums or your childrens friends. It accomplishes nothing and only results in an unfair assessment of self. You dont know how life is for them .. eg are they happy at home? You cannot judge that.

@Zoe7 I reiterate what Sam said - I hope tomorrow goes well for your first day at work. I trust that you are able to resolve any of your remaining questions and quell any lingering self doubts tomorrow. Sleep well and enjoy your day tomorrow.

Sherry 💕

Going to watch a little of the cricket tonight @Former-Member whilst waiting for sleep to come. Already taken meds so hoping they kick in pretty soon. Really nervous tonight but that is to be expected I suppose. I will definitely tell you how it goes tomorrow night. I am super excited that F&H will be back soon too so all these emotions feel very heightened tonight - going to have a prn to settle as well otherwise I may not get to sleep at all for quite some time.

It is great that you got the sewing machine out and did some mending and alterations today - that feeling of getting things done that you have been putting off is a great feeling. It is also great that you did the washing too - it has been a good day for you it seems Hon - at least better than the ones you have been having lately. I hope you sleep well tonight knowing how much you have achieved today.