Am Not Coping

@Zoe7Thanks for your reply which has made me teary. Just feeling really pathetic & vulnerable & not at all like coping with a new job even if I get one. Good facts are the people who are so wonderful to me but that only reminds me I’m so much less capable. It’s absurd that life feels so hard when I have a home & a family & a job (for another 2 weeks anyway). I hate my brain & I’m tired of being me & now I really am crying (at the hairdresser, but can’t get any worse when your hair is pulled back from your face & lathered in dye can it?!). Don’t know how to feel/get better. Know I should focus on making others happy but that can be tricky when simple tasks seem hard (I seem to get cognitive overwhelm in addition to low confidence/energy). Anyway @Zoe7 I think it’s good that you’re ‘tennising’ at present so you can pace yourself. Sounds like you’ve come a long way. Your tips we’re focussing on positives & baby steps if I recall correctly?

Rest up @TAB & thanks for your empathy. Hope your day brings you some relief & even pleasure!

I hear you about how hard it is to find any enjoyment in anything you do @Sam3 - definitely been there before many, many times. It is a hard position to gbe in but it is possible to come out of that. I don't think anyone here a year ago would have dreamed I would be in the position I am now but it does take hard work and determination to improve both your body and mind. One of the things that really helped me was actually not trying to please everyone else but turning that on myself and trying to be the best version of me I could be. I could easily have gone backwards again with what I was confronted with at work last year but I got through it because I knew myself and I also had some amazing support here. It seems like you are stuck right now and your work situation would not be helping with that but you can work on the positives you do have in your life for now and lean on us for support when you need it.

empathy , now there's a word @Sam3 something some people aspire to, but I guess there's heaps of it here. Ah, pretty zonked after ok , morning nap. Got msg that pay will be fixed today after went up the chain early this morning. And got a message telling me I've got a couple weeks work, well it was a couple weeks til my next job. So. I should take naps more often lol. Seems to get me work lately haha hope your day gets better

That’s a fantastic outcome from having a nap @TAB so yes have more of them!!!

@Zoe7 thanks for your reply too. I really appreciate that you generously offer information about your journey in a way that offers empathy & hope. Just finished appointment with specialist during which I was tearful (not usually the case so that was a good catharsis). Unfortunately it seems my thyroid levels are not normal (multiple aetiologies are possible but one of the medications he prescribed might be implicated). He reckoned though that depression in itself can impact the thyroid- anyone else heard of that @TAB@Zoe7@MDT@Shaz51@Former-Member Anyway he wants me to see GP re treating that & possibly add in another antidepressant later, but no immediate change. Might try & get the younger kids nachos for lunch & phone up about other job options now I’ve stopped crying 😢 lol. All the best to everyone for an afternoon that offers some pleasant moments. Sending positive interview vibes your way @MDT

yes re naps @Sam3 no, hadnt heard re thyroid and depression, anyway all that's really changed is had someone in capital city ring me saying havent you heard from so and so and they should be ringing you soon , well basically someone else has done a runner from job, they made it sound like they were keen over a week ago, were saying weeks of work now its 12 days but would fit in with other work. anyway. thats dependent on getting a call. Hope things get better for you

I have heard about thyroid issues affecting depression @Sam3 but not the other way around but I suppose as our body and mind is intertwined it is possible. Being so physically unwell for me was the catalyst for depression and then as that set in again I was not physically able to get well for a very long time either - so it is all interrelated. MI is hard enough on it's own but add in physical issues and everything seems magnified.

It is good that you could cry today - release some of that pressure. Hope you can deal with some of those phone calls now @Sam3 and there is some positives that come out of it all for you this afternoon.

It still sounds better than no work at all @TAB & as you say it enables you to take up other employment opportunities. Any more thoughts about a cert IV? I’m about to call re a trainer job that claims you can start without it & would be supported towards a Cert IV. No one wants nachos for lunch!!! So I guess I’ll stay in my room & job hunt then. Must try to do something with 9yo & 12 yo as afternoon cools down.

i've gone back into survival mode @Sam3 not going to spend my last money on certIV then end up on the street lol yes there was a place advertising here re trainer and getting quals later was like $65k tho well maybe I could live on that now that I dont smoke anyway need to get money in bank before I do anything . Take it easy