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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

thanks @Zoe7 yes its about shifting expectations I guess.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Yeah maybe reality checking. @TAB It is natural to resist change a bit, and also to take time to process it.

@MDT

Enjoying spanish tango that came on after your last Samba was posted on the other thread. I love world music, especially any latino influenced ...

@Zoe7

It is so good to hear you thinking with optimism about your coming year, without too much stress. We cannot anticipate everything. WTG with the garage.

I actually had a shelf fall down a couple of days ago. It frightened the life out of King Cat and I laxing on the bed. I did not realise it was the built in shelf in my wardrobe ... I had thought it was neighbour in the garage ... so much for my directional hearing!

My house is really falling apart. It is budget, but still has been a good home for me. Another thing for my long list .... sigh ... maybe its mirroring life a little ... the falling apart ... and the work of solving problems ... one thing at a time.... plumber was here yesterday ... that will be an ongoing project ... WIll need a carpenter too now and the painting that I began 15 months ago. I really cannot do it all. Son very ... not interested. Oh well ... I have had worse ... Lady in post office today saved me buying packing tape which was nice ... even though I had torn the packaging ... Library lady nice too.

@Sam3 Yes I am very much a parent and sadly know the difficulties of parenting when dealing with bereavement and mental illness. Sometimes survival is all we can manage. SOmetimes it is like that for a long time. Survival and survival of kids is DEFINITELY A PLUS. Dont discount that. My youngest is now 26. Maybe some books about bereavement to just tell stories of natural consequences. Gently adjusting expectations as @TAB suggests ... for them as well as you.

You really only can do what you can do.

That said meds always need to be revised as life goes on.

Antidep ... can lift mood ... therefore give energy ... but are also used for anxiety ...

Tranquilisers given to sedate ... may be in conflict ... antidep ... I am adjusting mine ... as I feel the antidep were making me feel more manic .. than was healthy ... trying to balance it all.

Hi @CheerBear

TAKE CARE ALL

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

that's good re people being friendly @Appleblossom I was OTT chatty at shops yest, dunno where that came from, ok in response to 'can I help you"' or something like that I just smiled and said to woman behind counter 'no I just came here to chat' well, what she said sounded stupid, like what else would I be doing there but buying stuff hah surprised myself that brain come up with semi funny comeback so quick lol

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

sort of @Zoe7

It's getting a bit testing actually. Continually worrying that I'm not going to make it or that I simply not good enough for certain positions. That it's overwhelmingly competitive for even the smallest type of role...

I'd be lying if I said I didn't regret my choices. But it is what it is.

5 years to make it count.

Sorry to bring a negative tone here. Not great atm though.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

you're sounding like me lately @MDT soz lol gawd Ive got to snap out of this. Apparently stopping smoking can cause depression I read yesterday Yay anyway won't go on anymore it's not helping me or anyone reading it.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I hear your @TAB

Mental health sucks. Hope you are alright. Quitting smoking takes guts. Respect to you old Darth..

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Well that was one good thing that came from my summer of .. ok discontent .. lol re smoking .. day 17 today @MDT I just worried myself into a corner too much negative thinking and unrealistic goals then p’ed off at self when couldn’t do them. Anyway time to ease up on myself re expectations

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

hey everyone

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi @MDT what's up?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

My house is not falling apart but there is lots that needs doing @Appleblossom I have mainly been concetrating on the outside and living room but the whole inside of the house needs painting but a lot of preparation work to do before that can happen. The kitchen is functional but needs a complete refit - not likely to be able to do that for a couple more years though as need to save a bit to do that.

Had a less than productive afternoon. Got a couple of things from the old school but couldn't get everything so will need to go back on the weekend. Hopefully nobody else will be there and I can get done what I need to and never have to go back. I need my mum to help as she has the key to let me in so when I go back will depend on when she can help out. My sister will help again and I am so grateful for that too.

Feeling a bit flat this afternoon but I am putting that down to being so tired - going to try to get a few more things done this evening though and then get back out in the garage tomorrow. I want it all done by Wednesday and there is still so much to do.

Hugs to all having a less than desirable day today and sending some smiles also just in case it becomes contagious for everyone here

@Appleblossom @MDT @TAB @Sam3 @CheerBear and all passing through...

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