Am Not Coping

Thanks for all the well wishes for today @Owlunar @outlander @Maggie @CheerBear.

I have just got home and it has been a long day but I will post about it later - not a bad day just long and tiring.

The day today didn't start off ideally - I didn't get enough sleep and I was super tired this morning. My big day yesterday certainly caught up with me but I got to work and even though there were some times in the day when I could feel the effects of a lack of sleep - I managed to get through the day. The principal even left me alone on duty by myself - so I see that as a win. She was out most of the day so her assistant sat in with me - I am so far past caring about someone sitting in now that I see it as more of a joke than anything. Only 1 week left and I will be out of there!

She is at least giving me more positive feedback on the whole and the more negative stuff I am taking with a grain of salt - yes there are things that I can work on (who doesn't have those things) but I am feeling much more in control of what I am doing and again feeling that passion for the job return - to me that is the most important thing as I honestly did not think I would find that again.

Tomorrow is my last full day on class. Next week full days will be between classes and assembly so less actual teaching. I will get to see the kids presented with their awards though so I am looking forward to that.

This weekend it is supposed to rain here but I suspect I will be too tired to care anyway - still the housework to do but will take it easy.

Not far off bed for tonight - certainly over-tired - just waiting for meds to kick in and then I will be in sleepy land. Goodnight to all passing through here...

@Zoe7 Though you were tired you pressed through and it sounds to be a positive all rounder. You are doing a good job, better than good. I know you have classes today, so I won't overdo the word stuff here. Just letting you know I'm walking beside you cheering you on. You've got this.

That is adorable @Maggie I am off to work very soon but wanted to reply to you first. Itis lovely seeing you here and posting - I hope that means you are finding a little peace in your days. Give little Mags a cuddle for me and tell her to look after her mum. Hugs Hon

The last day on the class I had today and I will actualy miss them. It feels like I am just starting to get back into the job and then it will end again. Only one week left and I have the other class I have been taking for most of the time I am there next week.

Today went really well - the principal did comment on how well it went so that was some positive feedback. It definitely helps

She didn't have a lot to say today which is probably another indication of how well it went. I was still really tired but managed to do a few self-care things to help me get through - another bonus.

This weekend we are expecting some rain so I am going to try to get my planning done early and then begin a new painting - this one for myself. I also need to make some room in my spare room for things that are still left at the school to be transported home later next week. I also have some hoursework that needs to be done and if I can do that tomorrow then it will help with me having a rest day on Sunday and doing the painting too.

Hope everyone is having an okay day and their weekend is filled with light.

@Faith-and-Hope @Maggie @Owlunar @outlander @CheerBear @utopia @Former-Member @Appleblossom @Sans911 @Snowie @Teej @TheVorticon and all passing through and also following my journey here...

@Zoe7 The principal might be having a change of heart towards what she sees you are capable of. Sometimes MI can be feared because of false info out there. When faced with the realities, we can come out looking pretty good. You are changing people's views for the better. Anyone coming after you will have a smoother path. I know this isn't comforting for you atm, but you are a communicator, and a very good one. I hope you are proud of what you are accomplishing, both for yourself and your students, not to mention staff.

I hope your painting over the weekend bring some relaxation, art can do that.

Finally some rain here and a bit cooler, I'm painting stones atm and enjoying it. I still can't read without the help of a magnifying glass, so cross stitch and reading are out, I'm not board though. Take care @Zoe7

Im so glad today went well and despite being tired yesterday it went well also @Zoe7
Doing a painting for yourself sounds like a nice project ❤

@Zoe7 It is great that you felt it went well. Great for you and the children. Hold that memory firm regardless of the principal. Maybe @Maggie is right and the principal may reconsider her attitude and give you a great reference. I hope so.

We had a torrential downpour tonight when I was driving a friend to a group. I had to stop the car as i could not see for the sheets of rain.

@Maggie @Appleblossom There is only one week to go and then I will be out of there so that is a good thing. It does feel like I am getting back into it and it will end - though there is nothing I can do about that, Hopefully I can take that feeling into the next school with me. The waiting to see where I am going to be will be difficult but again there is nothing I can do about that. I have definitely had to practice a lot of acceptance skills here - this is where DBT has really helped and having all the support from gp, pdoc and psych - as well as all of you here.

@Zoe7 💕💜💕🐾🐾