Am Not Coping

I am sorry to hear that @utopia I am presuming it is the same thing you have been struggling with over the last few days! Do what you need to do for yourself - I am around for you but I do really need to have a little time to myself to stop my slide also - I will be no good to you or anyone else if I don't take a little time for myself right now.

I will hopefully be back shortly but in the meantime please look after yourself

Thinking of you and sending all my love and heartfelt gratitude to you for just being YOU and being beside me always

I love and care about you and will be beside you today - holding your hand and giving you comforting hugs

Zoe

@Former-Member I did see you there roaming around - I hope you are having a good day - maybe catch up later

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@Zoe7 wrote:

@Former-Member oh my beautiful, caring, compassionate friend

I do want to believe that it will get better and there is a way forward. I do see glimpses of it at times but it is the unexpected setbacks that then dim that light again.

So for now I really am taking each day as it comes - moment by moment, minute by minute, hour by hour. And I am relying very heavily on others to light the way for me - but that is what I need to continue to 'exist' and walk this path. I really do not want to go back to that place where there is nothing left inside and I just want the darkness to finally take me. Every day is a struggle to 'want' to live but every day I do survive - there is some hope in that.

My road ahead is a long one, and I am scared of where it will take me and what I can actually leave behind me - but the light that everyone here shines along that path does help to see at least a small way into the horizon.

Knowing that you have achieved everthing you have and found some peace and freedom in your own life - with everything you have had to 'deal' with - does provide a true inspiration for me to know it is possible - believing it myself is the next step.

Thankyou for sharing and for being with me @Former-Member it means so much...

Sending you all my love

Zoe

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I do know those setbacks well my friend - but you have improved in spite of them. You are doing all the right things and healing will come in time. In that sense time is the great healer. But the setbacks, yes. At the time they happen to me I think they are going to destroy me. But when I walk through them with hope and love I then realise I am stronger for it and grow in compassion. Thats the strength in my vulnerability - that vulnerability being that I don't have total control over what life throws at me but I do have the choice to open up to and believe in the love, hope and faith discovered whilst in adversity, the love that others show that shines brighter in the darkest than at any other time that strengthens me - showing me love does exist, evolving me into a much stronger, loving, positive, wiser person - becoming more whole as a result. So good can come from those dark times in the aftermath. It's the way we look at it.

Keep holding onto that hope as you are stronger than you realise. You have so much more to give than you realise as we can see here - you have touched so many and you have already grown - and you have so much more to give and receive in the future. That is the preciousness of life. Embrace it my friend. As your journey is really only now just beginning as your intuition and heart grows guiding you. Just beginning....you have seen love here - but you have seen nothing yet.

We can only deal with this battle one day at a time my friend as looking too far back or too far forward will overwhelm and cause us distress in the present;...so you are doing exactly the right thing by living in the present as by doing our best now in the moment will assure a better future - so do not be afraid of it as you will grow stronger and more able to cope. So let the future take care of itself and rest your mind. As those glimpses of light and love will grow brighter and longer which will be your strength to endure all.

Others peoples light is what does help see us through as no one on this earth can do it alone. No one. I could not of got this far without the love of special others. As we need each other - often people can't see their own worth and purpose this way which can result in emptiness as that is the reason for everything, for existence. That is what brings moments of happiness. And hence when we hurt another we are hurting ourselves even more as we lose our real selves, inner peace and purpose. But you have that insight my friend and that will guide you. And we all lose that bit me. And the more you do so, the more you reach out and be touched with love - the more you will heal, the more you will give back and the faster you will find @Zoe7 and love your existence.

Never ever allow another's weakness, cruelty and abuse to rob you of your light my friend and your right to happiness. As not only do they win by robbing you of you - but they also rob the world of you which is "a loss" to others. To be honest with you that is why I keep going, keep loving - I will never let the darkness win. I chose light, I chose life. And I will never give up on it, hope and love. Hold on.

The darkness "will never take you as love will always be all around you" to pull you out if you allow it. And you have taken that first step in healing by allowing your heart to open up a little to it. Keep going, keep holding onto hope - one step at a time. Have a wonderful day my dear friend ❤

Thinking of you both @utopia @Zoe7, look after yourself and do what you feel will help you and make sure that includes something nice ❤️

Hello everyone, I feel like I have to explain. I went to town yesterday, everyday event for a lot of people; but I think there are people here that understand it's not for everyone. I think I even get a level of excitement, my life is very boring, but that excitement is quickly overwhelmed before I even walk out the door - just thinking about it. Then, it's not me, I'm watching someone else. Watching them make a fool of themself everywhere they go, seeing all the people look at them like their an alien. Goodness, I wish I was an alien, does anyone else wish they weren't Human? So today is a wipeout, the next day always is; no matter where I go or what I do.

So many people refer to it as mental illness, I call it individuality.

HI @Former-Member i havent 'met' you yet HI 'waves'

you never have to explain anything 🙂

im very much the same as you, my joy is often overrode by panic, fear or being overwhelmed and it is like watching someone else, its not really me.

i love the term :individuality" that you have used, it shows that despite having a mental illness you except it and almost embrace it (hope this is the case, correct me if im wrong)

are you ok today? @Former-Member would you like to talk about it?

Hello @Former-Member, it's nice to meet you and not to have to explain. I don't feel like I have a mental illness, I've never felt any different. It's the rest of the World - this World that knows it's poisonous processes are killing it and keep doing it! I think all Human Beings are mentally ill, With a problem on that sort of scale, people like me become insignificant, collatoral damage. . .

I'm ok being not ok

I don't really know what to talk about

How has your day been?