Am Not Coping

I hope you make it to the beach tomorrow @Zoe7 .... 🏖

I am fading tonight, the last week catching up on me, so I will say goodnight before I face-plant here.

Sleep well Hon .....

Goodnight to anyone else around ... 👋💤

You have had a very big week Hon - hope you sleep long and peacefully

Catch up with you sometime tomorrow ...goodnight @Faith-and-Hope

You are probably at church this morning @Faith-and-Hope but saying Hi for when you get a chance to check in

I woke up with a headache but have had some pain meds and a nap and feel a bit better now.

It is windy today so the beach may be off the table - nothing worse than sand blowing around - Toby doesn't care but I find it annoying and takes away from the pleasure of the walk.

I may be able to mow the grass instead - both front and back of the house need doing - so that is on my list for today if the wind drops a little.

Washing is at least dry so some ironing needs to be done and I still have my taxes to complete - so all in all a busy day until I settle in tonight for the NRL grand final.

Hope your lunch with the family is enjoyable and you get your art space and stuff done this afternoon before you go back to uni tomorrow.

Sending you and anyone passing through hugs today

Hi @Zoe7 .... 👋💕

Sounds like a Home day will be better for you today .,...

The visiting kids dropped in to church with mr. their morning - he literally stays 5mins - then they met to The Coffee Place with him. I will see them at lunchtime.

I have already picked up outside after Toby so lawn is ready to mow @Faith-and-Hope - the wind has dropped a little but will wait a bit longer to see if it goes away entirely. The sun is out and it is not cold so a good day to do the mowing. I think if I can get everything done that I have previously mentioned then it will be a really good day for me and set up the week to get into the garden (depending on the weather) and some more painting.

Good that baby dragons came to church for a little while - what's for lunch today - cooking anything special or getting something to take home?

Mowing done @Faith-and-Hope so that is one big thing crossed off my list. Now I can concentrate on the inside jobs. There is still a lot of weeding to do but I can tackle that a little at a time throughout the week.

Next is the ironing - there is not a lot but would be nice to have that out of the way - then I will have room to set up for painting.

Mr.f&h “took over” Sunday lunch a month or so ago ..... initially buying in, despite the fact that I was shopping and preparing, so I had words with him about it, and he said that he wanted to provide the lunch on Sundays ...... so I asked him to just negotiate about it ..... ask for what he wanted ..... instead of competing and outdoing ..... :face_with_rolling_eyes:. That was a family trait that was previously not-him ......

So when he asked if he could provide Sunday lunch I said yes ..... not realising as I should have, that that mean two days worth of exactly the same food every week ...... sigh ....... so we are re-training him by requesting less food and greater variation. I am still stunned by this. Just haven’t been able to get used to it ..... like my brain just can’t process that this could have happened to him.

Long-winded answer, but no ..... lol ..... I’m not cooking.

It is good that you both came to a compromise by you standing up for yourself @Faith-and-Hope and despite him still providing Sunday luch that you have all voiced your thoughts. I can hear in your words the frustrtion with not just the lunch situation but how Mr. F&H acts in this regard ...I can also hear the love that you still have for him despite all the challenges. I can't imagine how hard it is to watch someone you love change so much Hon and despite the family traits coming out in him now he isn't the same as the man you first met. My thoughts are definitely with you - it may just be a Sunday lunch to many but it is more that controlling behaviour for Mr. F&H

I don’t know whether we can just keep working like this and, little by little, recover ground with him @Zoe7. It is starting to seem possible where it hadn’t for many years prior to this. I still don’t know what is happening, how this”works” .... whether there is a process for recovery that begins to happen ahead of a diagnosis ..... but it is all we have got to go on, and so I will persist, despite having to try to negotiate the volume of food down, and an increase in variety.

It was too beautiful a day to stay inside, so I took a wander to the art markets. I felt a need to walk too. Feeling a bit like a slug .... lol ..... sitting in a patch of gentle sunshine at the mo.

It is still windy here - not too much but just enough not to be pleasant at the beach @Faith-and-Hope I have done the lawns and made significant inroads into doing my taxes - so 2 things I can cross off the list. Ironing is next but I am less motivated to do that

I am pleased you found the art markets and have taken yourself off for a walk in the sunshine. The sun is still out here and Cat has been sitting outside all afternoon. She has brought herself in by the heatpump now so the air must be cooloing off a bit. This is usually about the time that she comes in looking for food - hopefully she holds off 'talking' to me for a bit longer though.

I know you can see that Mr. F&H has made some small compromises in the way he approaches things - that is a large part down to you voicing your preference for how things need to work as well Hon - I have no doubt that if you hadn't done that that the behaviour would have continued - it may be that he can see some of what you are seeing and I know you have said that others have started to comment too - that all must be playing on his mind as well.

Those baby steps are really significant for your family though and I hope they continue. It takes more than you to stand up for yourself and I know S2 has been doing a little of that too - it all helps the whole family - not easy but you are amazing the way you cope and continue to show the rest of us here the positives in your life - you inspire me every day Hon