Am Not Coping

@candycane just wanted to drop in a HI and say you are doing a wonderful job tonight and it is nice to see you around also

Hi @candycane .... 👋💕

I am the same with clutter @Zoe7, but part of the p.d...., or this form of the p.d. I should say ..... creates chaos ..... like a child (or Toby 😏) pulling out all their toys at once, not being satisfied with any of them and charging off looking for more ..... it’s about constant stimulation and not being able to satisfy the perfectionist drive ..... so I have been running behind our amazing chaotic life trying desperately to create some sort of order and stem the flow ..... not buying more and more stuff because we can’t find what we already have in the clutter-maze.

Dont get me wrong, as an artist / creative I have a lot of “stuff” .... but it all amounts to a studio worth of equipment, books, materials, etc that ought to be adequately and appropriately housed. Then it’s not clutter, and it can be put away quickly and easily after use ....

That is what my house is like when I don't have all my school stuff here @Faith-and-Hope - everything is organised and has it's place - as much because I like order as it is easy to locate when needed. I honestly cannot wait to have some order back in my house - I literally have a whole classroom full of stuff here at the moment and although most of it is stacked neatly it still takes up so much space. If my garage was water-proof I could stack it all in their but that is not possible just yet.

I understand what you mean about having things pulled out everywhere - thank goodness I only have a Toby to clean up after - I can only imagine what it is like with Mr. I would think it is a lot cuter with Toby toys everywhere and a lot easier to clean up

It’s not just mr ..... although they are a softer version, some of the kids are of the same genetics and leave a similar trail of chaos.

May least with this new understanding it’s clear to see in hindsight why their tidiness habits didn’t “take” ..... but part of diagnosis is understanding your personal make-up .... strengths and weaknesses ...., and keeping both from going out of control. Rather than fearing this pattern, they are able to identify a lot of what their Dad is going through as within themselves as well, and are learning to negotiate with themselves to avoid living a life of turmoil and chaos.

It’s part of the struggles with completing assignments and attending classes, and psychosomatic or depression fall-out .... and how to drive it all. There is a tempest within ......

They will get there (kids). Mr’s inner tempest has channeled into the eating disorder and control issues. Once (God willing) he is diagnosed and counselled, he will learn how to live with this to bring about it’s strengths in positive forms, and be cautious with areas of weakness.

It is defintiely a life of chaos around you @Faith-and-Hope - you have my full admiration for what you do to try to even out the scales with everyone in your family. I have no doubt that you have wanted to give up and escape the chaos on many occasions but to stay and battle through shows your character Hon. Hopefully the kids will find their path and in time Mr. will be diagnosed and his healing can begin also - but the time waiting for all of that is extremely difficult for all of you.

It is @Zoe7, but it’s still a far better day-to-day balance than we had when I joined the forums (at the end of my wits) ....

Well there are silver linings to everything then @Faith-and-Hope - if you hadn't joined I would never have met you and who knows where I would be now without your constant support - so for me you being at the end of your wits was a blessing in my life - and I know people here have been the same for you

What are your plans for tomorrow - are you going to church in the morning?

I need to head off for tonight @Faith-and-Hope - have been on here too long and my headache is getting worse - so more meds and hopefully sleepy land very soon.

You know how I feel about you but it never hurts to remind you occasionally just how important you are to me - you have been my angel amidst my struggles and I love you for that. Goodnight Hon - catch you tomorrow

Sorry if I have missed your goodnight tonight @Zoe7 ..... things got busy here .....

Sleep well sweetheart and I will “see” you tomorrow.

Yes, church, then lunch at home .... then more art homework .... yay 🎉

Yes, funny how things turn out, but my life has been so enriched by meeting you and other beautiful souls about the forums.

💜💐

Morning @Faith-and-Hope @Snowie @utopia and all passing through...

Had another tricky night and up super early - definitely need to talk to my pdoc about meds when I see her this week.

@Faith-and-Hope have a good time at church and then doing your art this afternoon. It is supposed to be an ok day here today so I am planning on getting out into the garden to start some of the weeding. I am not going to go to the pool - need to get out in the garden while the weather is ok. It is supposed to rain for most of the week so today is the best day to do the weeding.

@Snowie it was so lovely to see your likes from last night - I know you are doing it tough so to just 'see' you here was lovely. Thinking of you always Hon