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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I have been putting my electric blanket on at night to lay on and it has been helping ease the pain a little to be able to sleep. I do use heat packs when I am able to - they help a little but not completely - again it is a management thing though and every little bit helps @outlander

I do enjoy being in the water but not so much other people being around - need to deal with that also but being with my physio and concetrating on what she is saying does help - it also helps that I quite like her - she is very nice and doesn't push me too much. last session I definitely over did it and suffered for a few days afterwards - so next session we will take it slower.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

your right, every little thing does help. it all adds up.
so you need blinkers on too! Im glad you like your physio, she seems to work well with you and your needs. can be hard to find professionals who see us as humans and not $$

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

It's a very small practice that she works out of but I am glad I was referred there by my gp (she had heard good things so that helped). It makes me realise how far from returning to work I am presently and how much I have to do in the next few months to be able to return to work @outlander

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

it does sound like a really tricky time @Zoe7 i hope your able to get back to work to some degree though, i know it was something you enjoyed as well, i also know your under pressure to get work as well which doesnt make it much easier.
can i ask how long youve been off work for? it seems workcover doesnt cover for long periods of time either..

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

It will be 2 years at the end of next month @outlander - and my income protection runs out at the end of November. I have some sick leave I can still take and some long service leave so that can take me up to the school holidays if I need but then I won't have any leave left at all - it is a tricky situation so I do need to be back at work in some capacity by November - hoping for 2 days in term 4 and working up to 3 or 4 days by the end of the year ...3 days will not be enough to pay my mortgage and bills but 4 days could get me through. It is quite stressful because I know how far away from working 4 days a week I am - i can barely get through Wednesdays with DBT and pdoc

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Wow @Zoe7 talk about under pressure to get back to work! I really hope that you can get back their though in some capacity.
The joys of adult life huh seems all we do is work to pay bills!
Will you be going back to thr same school as before?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I don't know @outlander - the last conversation I had there seemed to be some confusion about that so I am very confused about what will happen. I want to go back to the same school but it may not be possible - this is making it much harder for me to deal with. I can't bring myself to call HR just yet - I am not emotionally able to cope with that - which also says to me I am not ready to even consider going back to work in a ny capacity right now.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hugs @Zoe7 ❤

Its really tricky for you. I really hope it works out for the best for you. Maybe in another month you'll feel more up to it. Your working really hard at both mental and physical health, i just hope something 'gives' for you really soon. November just doesnt seem far enough away atm does it

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

No it doesn't @outlander I still find it really hard to think that it has been nearly 2 years since I have been at work - the last year or so has disappeared in a blick - so much has happened in that time but it all seems like it is very raw still - not easy to deal with I know I have made some significant steps but it is still really hard -there is so much I still can't deal with -maybe I never will be able to - just don't know!

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

This year esp has has gone really fast @Zoe7 we are already halfway through. I really cant believe how fast its gone.
I cant say for sure but maybe going through the truama isnt worth it, maybe just learning to move on from it would be better?
Like ACT as well as dbt?
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