FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

25,461 - 25,470 of 38,645

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

lol @Zoe7 is he very cute though!

that is true, he cant come everywhere with you even though im sure both you and him would enjoy that. he will get use to it though, but like anything its never an overnight job.

hmm no real plans today. i have to go to work abit later on but theres only 3 horses to do not the whole paddock. im watching jurrassic park part 2 atm, my pop broke a plate at the same time the velocoraptor jumped up and scared the crap out of me lol. its the start of school holidays after today so im enjoying the peace and quiet while i can!

how is your back pain going? is it getting any better now?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

My back is ok - have had pain killers the last few days to help as I have been out a lot and unable to rest it completely. I need to go back to the pool but am completely out of motivation to do that presently - think it has been such a busy week and the pool has not really been an option. I will try to go again next week then my physio is back the week after. I have 2 more sessions with her and then I can decide whether to do the program on my own or pay a little more and continue with her for a few more weeks - money is very tight so I may not be able to afford it - I know you know how that is @outlander

Glad you don't have to do the whole paddock - remember to put your blinkers on - do the work mindfully and get out of there

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

ah yes being busy and no rest doesnt help much and pain makes everything so much harder than it needs to be thats for sure @Zoe7

hmm is there a chance you could pay abit more but keep the sessions spread out and only get her when you need some more help or just to check in on your progress? say once every few weeks? yes i do know what its like and it really sucks! its so hard to get what we need but often it means giving up something else.

is there exercises you can do at home when your not able to get to the pool? gentle stretches maybe just to keep up your physio?


yes blinkers! and turn off my hearing to would be good! if i go there about 2ish no one is there usually but thatll change over the next 2 weeks with kids off school etc but will cross each bridge as it comes.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Fly-by hello @Zoe7 👋 🦋💕 @outlander 👋🐎💕 .....

Back at lunch time.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

hello @Faith-and-Hope
hoping your enjoying your day

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I have been doing the gentler exercises at home too @outlander but there is still pain associated with that - it is definitely much easier in the pool. I can't overdo it otherwise I could cause more damage - it is a slow process!

Yes - deal with next week and the school holidays when it comes - if you think about it too much now it will cause undue stress so just get through today and the next ..and so on - day by day

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Lovely to see you Hon - it's a date for lunch @Faith-and-Hope lol - will be looking out for you

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

hearing you on that one @Zoe7 my hand still isnt great. still cant even hold a cup at this point, but i can have things resting on my arm as if you were carrying books in your arms and its been 3 months already now.
the pool would make it better, they say hydrotherapy is good so im glad it is helping you even though its slow! did they give a timeline at all of when you might start to be more painfree?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

It is going to be a long-term process @outlander - will take a lot of time to strengthen my back muscles and legs - will always have some pain so it is more about managing it than 'fixing' it. Strengthening those areas will help but the slightest movement can make it feel very uncomfortable so will be a lot of work to manage over time.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

ah yes i remember you saying some of your conditions which cant actually be fixed but more managed. i have a few of those too. can make life tricky but not impossible.

do you find heatpacks helpful at all? or one of those vibraty full body massagers? i dont really know what they are called but you either sit on a chair with them or lie on a lounge/bed
they might help with those knots in the muscles too?
25,461 - 25,470 of 38,645