Am Not Coping

No he didn't like any of the Victorian teams @Faith-and-Hope so when WC came in he decided to go for them.

I am glad you got to have that special relationship with your grandparents @Zoe7. I did with a couple of mine, but only during Christmas holidays and visits. They lived far away, but I knew them all.

Edited last post @Faith-and-Hope - it could be too identifying for anyone that knows me so best to be careful.

No probs @Zoe7 .....

I stayed with my grandparents most weekends in the last couple of years of Primary School and virtually lived with them when I went to High School @Faith-and-Hope - I felt safer there than anywhere - certainly safer than at home.

Some of my cousin who lived close to our grandparents boarded with them for High School @Zoe7, but that was owing me to distance for education. My Mum did the same, boarding with tellies in “the big town” for High School, but she lived close enough to come home for weekends.

My Dad did the same for the last couple of years of High School - staying with relatives @Faith-and-Hope His brother also did the same. They were a long way from home and rarely went back. They both settled in the area they went to school.

My mother lived in Melbourne for a couple of years but came back and met my dad.

Funny how it all works out, isn’t it @Zoe7 ..... we ended up going back and living in the town where my Mum and Dad met for a while .....

I can imagine it from her perspective a bit now, going back to places that had been their favourites before, and returning to old friendships when everyone had kids, or career, or some other life going on than where they had been at before .....

I know I will never go back to the town my parents met and still live in @Faith-and-Hope. I am even starting to think going back to work in that area is not a good idea. I am very torn though - I love the kids there and it is familiar but maybe there is too much heartache now to go back - I really don't know anymore - things that have happened lately are certainly holding me back on even considering a return to work... but that also leaves me with the possibility that I won't have any income coming in and the result of that would just about be the end for me Feeling totally lost lately and things here have not helped at all

I understand @Zoe7 ....

Sometime life will take us in a new direction though, re your work situation .....

Along with the decision regarding Wolfie, my mr. took the bit in his teeth with another couple of decisons in recent weeks, and it is clear that I am going to lose my home. It won’t happen overnight, but the process was begun overnight and it has been a shock and grrrr .... but I can also recognise it as bait ..... wanting a reaction that will give him opportunity to make further manipulative changes.

I have been thinking it through though, and these changes, as painful as they may be in this moment, are actually a natural progression in terms of what is happening to him ..... and I have seen them coming .... so it’s really a matter of acclimatising myself to them rather than challenging them. They will result in making it easier to live with the illness we have on board.

The new place will be easy to lock up and leave. It is a mirror of what we have here in the east, so will be low maintenance, which is what we need. Mr. isn’t coping with maintwnance, and won’t be able to at any point I think .... there will be a lot to be done on our old house before it’s sold (that part hasn’t been raised to me yet, but I am hearing it from other people .... grrrr). It’s all part of the illness. This behaviour isn’t “him”.

And there will still be river walks with the dolphins by the new place .... that’s one of the silver linings .... and I can probably still have a garden too.

Life is taking me in this new direction, like it has done here, and I was sad about that too, but making my way forward and finding things to be happy about, so don’t be sad for me .... I’m doing okay with it. Better than with our move here, I think ..... I’m getting into the groove of changes happening around me ..... it’s a new journey, at least that’s the way I am taking it.