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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Family comes first Hon - always

Good that he has agreed to call the counsellor - they may be able to help him get back on track in time to finish and submit it.

How are you feeling?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Feeling tired @Zoe7 .... I wish I could help him, but all I can do is walk along with him, and know that something will sort out eventually.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

That is so tough for you @Faith-and-Hope but it is something that he needs to find a way to do for himself - it will be more fulfilling in the long run and more beneficial for him - agreeing to make that appointment is the first step though.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

That’s just it @Zoe7. He has to work it through with counsellors who deal with students. This is beyond normal parenting and simply being able to “suck it up” ..... despite it looking like that from the outside.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

There are much wider issues at play for him than simply struggling with the work @Faith-and-Hope ...and the family dynamic is oneof them so it places added pressure on him when he is vulnerable. I am sure you wish you could snap your fingers and make everything ok for him but we both know he has to find a way around, through or even beside all this himself - such a hard thing as a mum to watch though Hon

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Just self care, rest, eatch a few fav movies Zoe, just gotta get through winter and things will look better in spring. let your dreams carry u for one night ❤

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Getting back to work was what was keeping me going @Former-Member - now with being so unsure how that is going to look - and where I could possibly be - everything seems to be up in the air. I felt like I could handle it going back to somewhere I am familiar with - and I really miss the kids - but if I have to move schools I don't think I can go back - I am a bit lost right now!

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

It is hard @Zoe7, but we all have to keep taking the baby steps forward , and sometimes that is about asking for help.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

There is so much happening already this week @Zoe7, but maybe next week you could start revisiting the idea of children’s party planning, or private art classes again ?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

S2 seems to be getting better at asking for help - whether it be from you or his uni counsellor - that is positive @Faith-and-Hope - hopefully the more he asks, the easier it will become.We all need a little help now and then but sometimes it is hard to ask for - that I do get! I am not sure where I would be tonight without some of that help myself - took a lot to reach out but I did and now I am coping much better - I am not great (and meds are helping) but I getting there.

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