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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7I know how much you struggle with seeing others in pain. I guess that is what happens when you have that connection with others. It is that fine line sometimes.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Sometimes it takes me right out of myself and I am able to support others @Snowie - and sometimes it makes me feel even worse than I already am. I guess it works like that - sometimes - we are more resilient within ourselves and able to offer support and other times what is bubbling under the surface is a weight we cannot bare and therefore anything else layered on top of our own struggles is too much. I find I can feel all of that sometimes in one night.

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I could not agree more with what you are both saying. Sometimes the connection itself is enough to carry on. @Zoe7

@Snowie

But seeing others in pain is a challenge especially if you need their support too. And just seeing their struggles hurts so much when you can't help practically like giving a hug, making a cup of tea or a meal.

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Sans911it is hard at times, such a tricky navigation at times. I guess I am hoping that people feel comfortable in expressing how they are feeling and if they are needing help that they can reach out for it

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Sans911 I believe we all here have made such a difference to each other's lives in a positive way - even when it doesn't feel like it in the moment - those hugs, love and support really do mean a lot. For some of us that do not have families or friends it probably means even more - I know it does for me - as this is my main outlet for connections. DBT may yet prove to be that also - I am starting to make more connections there - last session I even talked to two members in our break (more listened than talked but at least I was around others). I would not have been able to even go to DBT without the encouragement and support from you guys here - I wouldn't have even considered it - so the forum has been invaluable for me and what I am now starting to see ahead - WOW there was no looking ahead this afternoon - just darkness!

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Hi everyone 👋

@Zoe7 I have some good news ..... D3 came to uni today and made a counsellor apt for early next semester. She is on the move again ..... 🎉

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

That is the second bit of great news for this evening @Faith-and-Hope - so pleased for both you and D3. How did S2 go with his assignment - get it finished and submitted yet?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Not yet @Zoe7 ..... still working on it ....

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

At least he is working on it @Faith-and-Hope - and he has a couple of days to get it in. Have you been sitting with him for the company?

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Sorry to have dropped out there for a while .....

I have been @Zoe7, but he has just had a major flip out and put himself to bed. He has agreed to call the uni counsellor in the morning and try to talk it through, work out where to go from here .....

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