Am Not Coping

@Zoe7 you havee not broken any trust with me. At all. Ever. That never entered my mind.

My concern was the frustration of the limitations of this forum. being that we don't know people's real names or address etc, and I felt helpless in being unable to contact 000 to get help.

I firmly believe that each person has the right to choose life or choose to die. And I stand by that right. However, I will always try and intervene. If I can.

So I am not upset in any way that you sent a goodbye message, it was that I then realised if you or any of my friends/family on this forum died, that i would not know about it. That I would not have the right to know. That was where my anger came from.

Having said all that, NO. I do not want you to take your life. And I am so sorry that things got that desparate for you that you thought that was your only option. I have been there my friend. And it's a devestating place to be. Both times when I have been that bad, I booked into hospital. It saved my life.

Now. Don't ever feel embarrassed or anything else about things that you post here. We are all human. We are all frail. We are all living with MI. Non of us are perfect. Definately not me. Definately not you. Actually, sorry friends, none of you are. But I still connect with you all.

I connected very much with you @Zoe7 over the not having contact with a special friend that we care very much about. Might be awful to say - but it was good to have someone going through what I was going through. I told you it was an awful thing to say. But, to me, it was special having that connection with someone about my old friend. Because my best friend doesn't get my feellings for my old friend. You did. You do.

I have said a number of inappropriate things on this forum. Especially regarding my recent Workcover Psych review. I didn't say things well. But it was how I was feeling at the time. So please don't worry. There is nothing that you could do or say that should prevent you from coming back to the forum.

As you say, we are friends/family. we support each other. we help each other. And i think the forum here has been really good for you. I know you have been good for the forum. Good for a lot of us here. Your advice and compassion was always appreciated so much.

I won't pester you too much more about this. Except to say, I'd like you to come back. I think you are needed here. I think you need here.

And just to tease you - I heard from a good friend of my old friends - this afternoon. she is catching up with my friend this weekend and will ask him to call me. She said he is a bugger with his phone, but that he is well. And she thanked me for caring.

So please come back, if only for me. Who am I going to talk to on the weekend, if he rings?

I haven't heard his voice in 30 years. All our previous interactions has been via messenger. But his account is no longer open. So I gave my ph number to his friend.

So please, be here, and let me debrief with you. Advise me. Tell me it's going to be ok. Tell me to not get my hopes up. Tell me to get my hopes up. Help me sort out my head and feelings and nerves. Am so nervous.

I love you my dear friend @Zoe7. and as much as i would like you to come back for me. I'd really like you to come back for you.

Did you REALLY think I wouldn't respond..... lol

Oh by the way - a new t-shirt line. Tab and I decided on a braile t-shirt that says " if you can read this - move away NOW". What do you think.

Sending hugs.

There is no blame or anger aimed at you @Zoe7. Nothing but compassion and I wouldn't have it any other way. What @Former-Member and I said in my first post - move past this now and get the help you need and deserve in order to move on to a better place. That is the priority. You are in a dark place and need professional help immediately now. It's not about anyone else now. You and your well being is the priority. Care and think of yourself only for now. Please contact your medical professionals asap and seek that help you so deserve. We all deserve a chance at happiness and some peace. And you do as much as anyone else. Fight my friend, hold onto hope as the other "is not the answer to our pain". Facing it is the only way to overcome.

The other is my feelings of disappointment (not anger), towards how this situation was handled and "I own that" and needed to say it - i would of felt that way no matter who was concerned as all lives are of value. Don't concern yourself with that as you have enough on your plate. Just look after you now seeking the help you need and be kind to you. I am leaving it there and Wishing you healing and peace 💕xx

@Former-Member @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @BlueBay @Appleblossom @Former-Member

I hear all of you but I just can't respond at the moment. I really am not coping very well with all of this. I am not in any immediate danger atm just still devastated by what I have done to everyone.

Will repsond to everyone when I'm more able to xxx

@Zoe7. You didn't do anything to me. Seriously. It was simply one of those things. One of those nights.

Take the time you need. Take the healing you need from us. Take our love and caring.

And hopefully, you will come back here, when you are ready.

Sending you lots of strength. If you need a shoulder - my shoulder will be there for you. If you need a hug - my arms will be there to hold you.

You aren't alone.

Rest now @Zoe7 .....

Its what my mum used to call "parking it up" ....

❤️💕

Rest up @Zoe7.

Here with you.. and been where you are. Take it a day at a time.

Hope that you have good supports and are reaching out when you can,

lj

@Zoe7 For me you were fun sensitive artistic thoughtful.

You did not do anything wrong to me at all.

I know that SH suicide and attempts effect the people around. I know that all too well, but I also know that people only think, feel or act that way, because of their own pain. I am very sorry that you have felt that deeply.

When we get isolated and dont have many people in our life .. the forum connections mean .. I hope you dont carry that as a weighty responsibility, but just as a group of people that started to get to know you and hang out and care.

Of course it is totally up to you what you do, but dont angst over the forum.... get yourself into a healthier place in your own head nad in your own life.

many warm regards

Apple