Am Not Coping

Totally agree @Faith-and-Hope that 5 degrees makes all the difference 32 I can deal with - not 37! We played in 39 degree heat in Perth - surrounded by concrete and steel and white gravel infield - it was defintiely way hotter than 39 - more like 49!

I will try to stick around for a bit longer - enjoy your shower

Yeah .... no .... not up for that sort of heat .....

Spent time in the North West, and hearing about men working inside metal tanks when it’s 45deg outside ..... geez ..... that’s what reminds you that this is a desert country, amongst all its other beauty .....

Thanks re shower ..... and I’m off for a bit .....

😘 @Zoe7

@Former-Member thanks for trying to help last night

@Zoe7I just hope I didn't make it worse for you Glad you got through the night and managed a bit of sleep this morning. Hope you are feeling sort of ok today.

If you ever want to talk, all you have to do is tag me hun, anytime

No @Former-Member - it wasn't you that made me feel worse - you were actually helping then it got too much for me.

@Former-Member how are you travelling today?

@Zoe7I understand hun. Can become overwhelming at times especially when lots of conversations going on at the same time!

I am going ok, just the usual, nightmares and flashbacks. Lasts nights was really vivid. Had a meeting about workcover before. Workcover wanted to look at starting me back at work but pdoc put a stop to it. Said I had no capacity to work (mmm that felt good, not!) Meeting was stressful, not really needed, could have been said over the phone!

Hope you are travelling ok today

Your pdoc is right though hey @Former-Member - neither of us are even close to going back to work! I honestly don't know if I ever will

Yes it was too overwhelming Nell - I didn't want to have to 'explain' anything - I was doing really well talking to you because I know you 'get it' and whatever I said you would understand without having to answer questions or go into more detail than I wanted to. Sometimes that 1:1 conversation is what is needed - and is all that can be handled.

All I'm trying to do today is get through the day. Very real and very vivd flashbacks last night so I didn't sleep at all - still not sure what day it is or what is real and what is not. Lack of sleep is not helping but after having a few hours of 'less than ideal' sleep this morning I don't even want to try again!

@Zoe7 Yea know the pdoc is right, guess just hard to hear it 😕

It is easier sometimes to talk to people who understand, even though our stories are different there are some similarities. I hate explaining things again and again, felt a bit like that today.

Lack of sleep certainly doesn’t help but I understand not wanting to sleep. I slept a bit last night (had help) but they still came and then scares the crap out of you. Mine still is the same flashback for some reason. They have normally always changed by now.

I hear you @Former-Member

A couple of months ago (I think - time is not my friend atm lol) my pdoc asked how long my income protection cover lasted - when I told her she said 'that's great - we need the time' - that set me back too. The realisation of what kind of timeline she had in mind was hard for me to hear too.

I get the same flashback on repeat Nell - is a bit of variety too much to ask? lol (I actually giggled at myself for being so flippant here )

Mine are all mixed up these days - which makes it even harder to deal with reality. That also means the intensity of the 'feelings' are magnified. The smallest, seemingly insignifant thing, can trigger a massive meltdown at the moment. That is pretty much what happened last night and why I had to leave. It really wasn't anyone's fault - but what I was trying to avoid on here happened anyway.

The worst thing about it was I actually asked for support and then couldn't deal with it - that really made me regret asking and made me feel even worse. I won't do that again!