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Am Not Coping

Am Not Coping

I am really not coping at the moment but this is entirely on ME!

This is a message for a few people on here @utopia @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member

that I asked could be passed on but it seems that only part of it has been and I understand from the responses that have made it through my emails that I have caused untold distress for some people. I was not going to return because of what I felt I put people through but I especially wanted @utopia and @Former-Member to know that they were not wrong at the time and I was going through a real crisis period. You both held me together for longer than I could myself until the point where my own self-destructive thoughts overwhelmed me.

The entire message that I sent to SANE is below:

I have just viewed the multitude of emails and messages sent from forum members and members of the SANE team – as well as the text and voice message left on my phone.

I have not been able to communicate with anyone since the other night as I have been recovering from what ended up being an unsuccessful attempt to end the pain.

At the time I was in a very distressed state and I did want to stop the pain and all I seemed to achieve is to cause others pain and worry and that is the last thing I wanted to do – I just wanted to end mine and say goodbye to everyone beforehand so my future absence was explained. I should have realised that the message I posted would have concerned some people but I really was not in any state to think about the repercussions for others.

I am so sorry I caused so much distress to others – that is something I will have to hopefully try and live with.

I don’t believe after the concern and anxiety I caused to so many that I will ever be able to return to the forum.

Can someone from the SANE team please explain all this to all those involved and pass on my gratitude for their compassion, concerns and kind words throughout the time I have been part of the ‘forum family’.

Thank you and sorry again for the difficult position I put everyone in.

Zoe7

I do not want any responses from any of you. I just wanted to let you know exactly what has happened and let you know how truly sorry I am for hurting people I have come to think of as friends and family, and who I really care about.

Your support, advice and compassion are what make you all the wonderful people you are.

@utopia and @Former-Member I am so sorry that the trust you placed in me has now been broken because of my actions. I also felt that we had a stronger connection, especially over the last week, and you both helped me in ways I cannot even describe or explain. I was not pulling away from you two - just wanted to pull away from myself. I couldn't cope with my own feelings and no-one or nothing was actually going to be able to stop me at the time. It's now just another failure to add to my list of failures. I really don't know what else to say to you both but to reiterate my heartfelt 'sorry'.

38645 replies

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In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I guess any progress would show in me being able to sleep firstly - not having the same fears around night and getting to sleep. Then being able to sleep without nightmares and waking up like I do etc. etc.

Yes a beautiful stepping stone image might actually help - something to hold on to - a reminder that I am not alone in this 'fight' - maybe we could both paint the same image - we do have very different styles - could be something for me to focus on - I'm already thinking about it - damn your good!!!

@Faith-and-Hope

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Zoe7

😄 😄 😄

Happy dance ..... 💃💃💃 🌐 🎶

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Faith-and-Hope

Can I claim this session through Medicare or do you require virtual payment up front??????????

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

My virtual payment was seeing you smile ❣

@Zoe7

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

Awww!! And I did too

@Faith-and-Hope

What are you up to this afternoon - anything exciting?

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

"Exciting" yes ..... but not for positive reasons at this stage, although I am hoping it will lead to a positive outcome .....

My baby dragons are challenging my perspective re WH and believe that I am too close to the problem and "catastrophising" ..... it became clear in the discussions leading to this conclusion that my new SIL has a misguided perception of what an eating disorder is .... the same misguided perception I had when all this started, I might add, so I can't blame anyone in this situation .... but it is difficult to beat up to .....

So, I have made an appointment with the psychologist I have been visiting periodically to have someone walking along with me irl and I intend to ask him for someone the kids can go and see all together or as individuals and ask the questions they need to clarify, both in regard to WH and me .... to be able to be told by someone authorised in the field what the true nature of an e.d. of this proportions is, and why I believe that challenging him in the way they intend to will result in hi choosing the e.d. over his love for us ..... an outcome they can't comprehend.

It's a bit of a mess at the moment, but I should not be in the position of trying to address this new eventuality alone, and I believe the psychologist will help me redirect the kids to someone else, relieving me of this much of the burden.

That would be a very good outcome, and one that I have been hoping for a long time now. I haven't wanted to be their point of reference, and this looks like it's a catalyst for positive change .....

Wish me luck .... 😏💕

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

I wish you more than luck... @Faith-and-Hope

The positive is that the conversation has at least started. Clarification from someone other than you will not only take the pressure off you but give your kids another outlet to discuss their views and ideas on the situation. As you know it is often harder to deal with these kind of things with the people you are closest to. And you definitely shouldn't be doing this all on your own. You are an amazingly strong woman but everyone needs a break and some help sometimes - and you definitely need some (or all) of that burden taken off of you

Fingers crossed for you for a positive outcome.

Let me know how it goes. Wish you lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of luck xxx

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

🤗❤️💕 ..... thanks @Zoe7

In response to: Re: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

@Faith-and-Hope No - Thank you - I actually feel a little better - still sick but not as down as I was.

I'm going to go and sit outside for a while with Toby. Chat later

In response to: Am Not Coping

Re: Am Not Coping

💃🌐🎶..... @Zoe7 ..... 🤗
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