trying to find myself lost in it all trying to be calm and strong

@MJG017

Thats exactly what i was like before i found out what was wrong with me. I would need a day to just lay rest on the recliner. Happened quiet a bit when i used to service the cars.

I had quiet the ordeal with my new CPU compatibility was a huge issue with the motherboards without a bios update to which i have to admit intel never had that issue. I have had a few intel machines but couldnt get past them running so warm or maybe my expectations are just to high with some things i dunno 🤣 I am however all self taught with most things i know though.

@itsmehuntre

It was actually a bit of a relief to find out why I was getting so tired and light headed with even the simplest tasks. Even just walking through the shop doing the shopping was difficult. Once I knew what was happening and I could control it better, things got easier because I wasn't continually getting past that breaking point and so i wasn't feeling dizzy and headachy all the time. It's still frustrating when I have stuff I need to do and I need to go slower than I would before and have lots of short sitting breaks, but I have an excuse not to do things I don't want to now 😁

AMD always seem to have little compatibility issues with things, mainly because everything was geared to Intel I guess. It's much better now, but there was always little things you had to adjust and tweak with AMD, especially RAM timings when it was only XMP. Plus Intel's higher single core clock speeds had always benefited games and emulation and that was my main priority. I just want to play the games! 😀

@MJG017

Im looking foward to the next chat night im gonna make sure i got nothing on so i can take part longer next time and meet some more people

You hit the nail on the head with the ram things. I can say next PC i build will most certainly be a intel. I only game really so it would of been a better idea but i get stuck in my ways sometimes i guess 🤣

@itsmehuntre

The chat was pretty busy tonight. It does seem to be getting more popular, which is great... but I do find it a bit hard to keep up with a times when it's really firing along. I must be a bit slow 🙂

As long as it plays the games, that's what matters. I've always been heavily into emulation of classic systems and Intel CPUs have always been better for that. Although most stuff now can be emulated pretty easily.

There is the Recover Club here that you may be interested it. As far as I know there's still places for it. https://www.sane.org/recovery-club

I've found it really helpful. It's 3 zoom meets a day, but there's 5 subjects so they repeat and you're free to do as many or as little as you please. There's also a bi-weekly general catchup meet. If you're looking to connect to other people, and learn a few things about getting yourself in a better place mentally, then it's great.

@MJG017

I'm definitely keen for Thursday's chat after my day today I can do with something to keep myself occupied more. I will certainly check out the recovery club.

Had a bad day had enough I said f*** it I was talking to a friend layed it all out how I been feeling how every hour of the day I live in fear alot of the times silently I had a cry specially when memory's of my dad come flooding in... Cardiac anxiety is apparently a real thing. I'm seeing a doctor Thursday because I can't do it alone anymore I need help.

After all my dealings with computers lately I'm happy if I can just play a game decently regardless of the hardware

Hey @itsmehuntre

Well done for talking so open and honestly to your friend. It's one thing to do it somewhere like here, but another thing completely to do it with someone you know face to face. Hopefully this friend sticks with you and supports you. I guess these things can go a number of ways. Either way though you end up better off. Do you feel like this one will end up knowing you have a friend you know you can count on? Or is it too early to tell?

Im a bit the same with computers at the moment. I just want to play the games to get my mind off things and give me a bit of a distraction. It's the quiet moments, doing nothing that are the worst for me.

@MJG017

I will do anything just to feel or be a bit more normal then usual even if it's short lasting if that makes sense it's so draining physically and mentally makes it hard sometimes to smile but I always push through I always find a way there's not much more we can do.

My friend has been my shadow for this whole journey I trust him with my life he's been around me since I was 4 years old. He will be will me throughout it all no matter what happens I don't know what I did to deserve such a legend in my life but I must be doing something right.

My computer , playing games have been my saving grace. I hate quietness my mind thinks of silly stuff in a ended loop. I definitely know how them quiet moments feel I can relate there

@itsmehuntreIt's great you have a mate there who knows and supports you so well. As you say, you must be doing something right. You two must be like brothers by now having known each other since you were 4!

And the worst times, i didn't even feel like getting on the PC and playing some games, but these days I do find it so helpful to forget about everything else. Now that I'm old and slow, I don't really play online shooters anymore... I think I would just be ammo fodder these days 🤣 Strategy and RPGs are more my pace now and I can just get lost in them so they're the perfect distraction. I'm currently back to a bit of Old World after playing some Frostpunk 2 and ARA History Untold when they came out recently. It makes me wonder why I pay so much for all these components when I end up mainly playing games that could probably run on a potato! 😂

I hope your rehab has started well.

Hey @MJG017

Hows things? ive been a bit mia lately trying to find myself find more answers that what lays ahead in the future for me. Things have been a bit crappy for me recently lost my uncle have to bury him tomorrow tuesday. But i have had a few good things happen with me recently im going back to the doctors in a few days i may need to reduce the amount of medication im taking for my diabetes with a possibility of getting off my metformin alltogether sometime soon that is if i do the right thing. Ive kinda been naughty the past two days being italian and around italians you tend to eat a bit.

Cardiac rehab is going amazing its a bit tough and will get harder as things ramp up but im pushing on through it and after talking with the nurse about stuff my situation happens to alot more then i actually realised.

Things suck they do but the past week or so my mood has changed so much in a good way everyone is starting to notice im not the same person i once was im a better person. Im having a few small wins here and there with my health but dont get me wrong theres always gonna still be the bad i get that

Ive been playing the new black ops 6 lately and surprisingly for this guy with a radeon card it plays alright! Just dont ask me about frame rates its pretty shameful haha

Hows everything going your ways?

Hi @itsmehuntre

I'm doing pretty well. It makes a nice change 😁 I'm enjoying while it lasts... 3 and a half weeks until my next blood results and the anxiety is starting make it's presence felt already. But i'm just trying to make the best of things and feel like i'm doing a reasonable job of it.

Sorry to hear about your uncle. Were the two of you close? Condolences to you and your family. It must be a tough time for everyone right now.

I found out 3 years ago, when I found my biological family, that I'm, half Italian. Make that explains the carb addiction! It found it easy to cut the sugar when I was told I have diabetes, but carbs?! No... they need to stay! MY last HbA1c was 5.5, so i figure I can have a treat or 2. We''ll just have to see what the next result is 😁 It's great news that you may be off the metformin entirely. At least it's one less thing to worry about. Although, a bit like me, I guess the diabetes isn't exactly a top of the worry list right now, but it's a great result for you.

It's sounds like the cardiac rehab is going really well. Hopefully that translates to some equally great results. You really seem to be doing really well doing what you can to get on top of these health issues. At least more on top than you probably thought a couple of weeks ago, so well done!

It's great when people start commenting on how they've noticed a change in your mood isn't it. It just makes it feel more real, like you are starting to get into that better place mentally. As much as I would choose to make this diagnosis disappear in an instant, I can't deny it has brought some positive changes in my life. It would just have been nice if I found a less extreme way to convince myself to make them! 😄

I haven't played Black Ops 6 yet, although it has been recommended to me by someone else as well, so maybe I should take a look. I haven't actually had much of a chance to play much lately, but I have had a go of the Red Dead Redemption PC remake and so far it seems they've done a really nice job with it. I've waited a long time to play through it again on a PC with a keyboard and mouse... like God intended!

I was browsing the web the other day and got a blue screen crash! I've never had one on this build so now i'm concerned my CPU might be suffering from Intel-itis! It hasn't done it since, and I haven't seen a famous 'out of GPU memory error' that seems to be a sign of dodgy 13th and 14th gen CPUs so maybe it was just a random thing but I should have some good long gaming sessions to, you know... just test things for stability. It's the smart thing to do. 😄 If I do end up playing Black Ops 6 (you know... for stability testing) i'll keep my frame rates to myself 😁

Keep up the great work mate and again, sorry to hear about your uncle.