@Former-Member .... my husband has an undiagnosed eating disorder .... it appeared to have grown out of a meaningful life change, because he had BED eating disorder before that .... but it was excused as the result of being a workaholic and too sedentary a lifestyle .... learning about eating disorders has given a much broader picture .....
The "life change" was substantial, in that he lost half his body weight and us now in the low end of normal for his height and age - one of the features masking the eating disordered mindset. Health issues he had had owing to the extreme overweight evaporated along with the weight-loss .... blood pressure, cholesterol, digestive issues .... so he appears to be the poster-boy for successful change .... and he is owning it as that ....
Unfortunately, the eating disordered mindset has just skipped onto different rails ....
Rather than going into more detail about that here, I have posted descriptions of the different tracks it has split into on the main LE page under the "What's new: services, research, technologies" discussion topic.
So ... this new version is masquerading as not only socially acceptable, but as an ideal .... and we as his family can't do anything about it that is not going to be hazardous to our own ongoing welfare, although we have had to consider our own welfare above and beyond what is happening for him in order to make choices that protect us as much as possible from the effects of this illness.
Looking for a bright side .... he has learned so much about the basics of good nutrition and exercise that he didn't have a good understanding of before .... and the daily regimen he has set is an extreme of what it needs to be pulled back to to become healthy and balanced - there's that meaningful change part that @NikNik just referred to .... so when he comes into an understanding that he is unwell in this zone and accepts help to correct the eating disordered mindset, he may in fact have done a lot of the work towards his recovery in reverse ....
Its all pretty surreal at times .... thank God for the forums .... I don't know where else I could open up to this extent .... you see, without a diagnosis in place, in our state at least, there are few resources available to us as his family. The control issues and mood swings associated with the eating disordered mindset means he is actually tracking our movements, in management of our finances, and would be highly reactive to us seeking counsel for something he wants honoured ....
We either have to try to walk him home, or walk away .... which none of us is prepared to do unless we really have to, but we've got a tiger by the tail here.
Is meaningful change possible ? Absolutely .... in my mind ... but there are processes to go through that often involve a lot of struggle. Learning about the Stages of Change model has allowed us to see where this thing is headed, and what is required to turn it around. The first stage involves denial and hostility .... "Tick" .... but when we reach the second stage, he will begin to become involved in the change .... and it will be the meaningful change it ought to have been between BED and "this".
Will find a diagram of the Stages of Change model and post it for you .... anyone reading this might like to consider their own circumstances in relation to it ..... we have found it an invaluable resource .... scaffolding to support us through this ....
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My B&W cat called Mo just jumped on my lap.
