Procrastination and stress

@tyme it’s about gradually increasing my social interactions. I think covid put a lot of us in a safe bubble, it was challenging going back and interacting with face to face. I’ve had social anxiety as a kid, part of it is also because of sensory overload. I carry sunglasses, blue light blocking glasses and noise cancelling earphones to ease the sensory aspect. It is normal to feel very overwhelmed after a lot day from uni. I don’t know if the heat is causing POTs to flare up and making me migrainey. It feels rather sticky today. I’m going to have to rest up, migraine out of control isn’t good for my mental health

hey @creative_writer did the visit with the doc about your eye go okay?

i have social anxiety too, and headphones are such lifesavers for me too. how are you going with the gradual increase of social interactions?

@rav3n oops didn’t reply to this. I got antibiotics for a week. I’ve almost finished the course, definitely getting less goop from my eye now.

Noise cancelling headphones and earphones make a huge difference. I get overstimulated when it’s too loud. Being a migraine sufferer and being ND means I have sensory sensitivities.

It’s going okay. I’ve started with people from my course. I do find it hard to find like minded people, but you do have to start somewhere. I hope you have been well 😊

hey @creative_writer yay to less eye goop!

agreed! feeling overstimulated especially in public settings is so stressful, really glad that the noise-cancelling headphones/earphones work for you.

yeah i found that meeting like-minded people in classes is a bit of a hit-or-miss, but hopefully everyone's friendly. even if they won't be your 'best' friends, it's nice making temporary friends to survive the class with (and good practice for the social anxiety too)! how do you feel about being your authentic self during class?

hope you've been well too 💜

@rav3n goop is there to a certain extent, I’m going to the doc next week again. To a different doctor this time. I’m only slowly easing myself with friendships. Being authentic is a work in progress.

I’m feeling quite overwhelmed today. I have music screaming in my mind. How are you doing today? 💖

hopefully the new doc can make some more progress with the goop. it just hit me what a strange word 'goop' is. kinda fun to say @creative_writer

easing your way and taking lil steps sounds like a great plan. totally fair, learning to be authentic after years of feeling unsafe to reveal that part of ourselves definitely takes time. hoping that journey sails smoothly for you 💜

sorry to hear today's been overwhelming, anything in particular causing those heavy feelings? what do you mean by 'music screaming in my mind' (i just want to make sure i'm not misinterpreting).

i'm doing alright, my social battery has been low this week but finally got some good sleep so feeling a lil recharged.

@rav3n hence why I call it goop. It sounds way better than saying pus.

I’ve just had angry music playing in my head. I’ve been feeling really frustrated. Uni is stressful. I also keep getting intrusive thoughts about past trauma even during my study period, but I have to keep studying because I need to get work done

oh for sure, the word 'pus' is just hard to even look at for me. goop for the win @creative_writer

ugh that is annoying having those intrusive thoughts while trying to focus on studies. angry music replaying in your mind makes a lot of sense, i'd be pretty angry too. have you tried those 'study/focus' music playlists on spotify before? the ones that are supposed to encourage your brainwaves to get into hyperfocus mode? or even certain background noise (like rain sounds, waves, etc) have helped me focus my thoughts sometimes - do they work for you?

@rav3n I know right, it sounds so gross. It is gross to look at though. No more eye rubbing for me.

I have tried those relaxing soundtracks but then I find myself leaning towards emotional music. I listen to it even though at times it doesn’t help. It gives me short term relief but keeps me sort of stuck in a way. Maybe there is a lot of unexpressed anger underneath. I never really know what to do with it

@creative_writer honestly that makes a lot of sense that you're drawn to emotional music. when i'm angry/sad, i do like listening to angry/sad music and feeling my feelings out... probably feels inconvenient to listen to those types of music when there's uni to worry about but maybe making space to process/feel those feelings would help in the long run.

anger is a tough one, i constantly struggle with it too. its been bit of a journey for me to find what helps me express my anger in a healthy way - a combination of journaling and gym has been my outlet. in my experience, anger almost demands to be felt in a physical way. whether its dancing/shaking it out of the body or more controlled movements like yoga/meditation, i think movement helps. what are your thoughts? how do you usually process your emotions?